And then came life.....

How long has it been???

2011-07-12T19:36:00.002-05:00

Too damn long I can tell you that. It's been a bad week so far. And yea, I know it's Tuesday. But Sunday and Monday were not good when it comes to trying not to think about things. There is so much that goes through my mind on any given night. I don't even have much of a desire to write. I don't think you read it anyway so I'm probably just writing to myself.

I can't make myself leave everything I want to say in here because I'm scared I'll say something that will make you cut yourself off from me even more. I don't even know if I have it in me to send you a link this time. I thought I was supposed to feel better by now. I thought I wasn't supposed to miss you so much. I should be able to sleep at night without you here. I should be able to sleep in something other than your tshirt. I'm scared the kids will take it and hide it from me so I won't have it anymore. Jimmy thinks Ryan's mad at us. He said Ryan didn't say anything but he thinks that's why Ryan unfriended me. Because he's mad at us for fighting. I tried to explain that we aren't fighting, we're just not together but I don't even know how to explain that to him. I wonder if he is just saying that he thinks Ryan feels that way because he does. He doesn't like seeing me like this and I try really hard not to let them see. But sometimes the catches me when I'm not looking.

I've moved to the chair now. They think it's because I love this chair so much. It's really because there's no room for me to look for you and from the chair, I can see the pictures on my frame changing to us from time to time. Your note is still the last thing I see before I go to sleep. Your shirt is what I live in when I'm home unless I'm working around the house. It has to stay clean enough to wear to bed so I won't get it sweaty or dirty. It amazes me how much of my day I spend thinking of you. I surprises me when I realize hours have passed and I didn't think of you.

Alan and I have been friends for a long time and we can be completely honest with each other about what we're going through. It's nice to have someone to talk to about how upset I've been. But I'd much rather not be upset at all. I miss talking to you sooooo much. I had a voicemail on my phone I forgot about the other day and when I played the new one, I heard it and cried because you called me baby. Damn what I'd give to hear you say you love me. I'm going to go now before I get upset. But I wanted you to know I might not talk to you anymore, you might not make love to me from time to time, I might not ever see your precious face again, but I love you and I'm thinking of you. And if I thought you would, I would ask you to come back and act like none of this happened.

It doesn't matter

2011-06-29T19:12:00.002-05:00

What you say, what you don't, how long you wait or anything else you do. I'm not going to stop loving you, wanting you, wondering if you'll ever come back. How can you purposely be unhappy? If I had a single option in all of this, do you think I would be sitting here alone, crying for you? Why do you get to decide? How come you didn't ask me what I thought? Monday we were ok. I was doing GREAT with the way things were. 3 days later my world was torn apart completely and you won't even look me in the eye because of some self loathing bullshit about hurting me? Really? Well guess what Jamie, I think I should have some say in what happens with us and the fact that I NEVER FUCKING DO is what got us where we are to begin with.

So you sit there and hate yourself all you want, tell yourself I deserve better, act like you can live this way, purposely be unhappy without me and when you're done, guess what happens? I'm still here, I'm still waiting and I'm still loving you. And that's not going to stop no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise.

The weekend and random stuff

2011-06-26T13:12:00.002-05:00

I hope you still don't mind my notes.....

You ignoring me is not helping me forget you

You probably don't call it ignoring, you think you're doing me a favor because you feel bad that you hurt me. It's not a favor. You're not happy either, so how does this make sense to you?

I don't know if I can go to "our" place anymore because I don't know if she is going to start hanging out with you now.

I don't know if Ryan deleted me as his friend because he is mad at me or because he thinks it's a good idea for you. But it makes me sad.

I don't stop crying. EVER it seems. I think about you non stop. Just today...

I wonder if he's awake yet. Maybe he dreamed of me and he misses me right now. Maybe I'm insane and just too stupid to see he doesn't love me or want me and I should let it go.

Sherry made bacon and cheese grits just like Steve made when we went to Florida

Jeff Dunham is on Netflix...never laughed so hard, great date night

In the car, coming home; there's a chic at the gas station not showing me her thong but has a huge ass, no pants on but bikini bottoms that would have made it to the Jamie sees underwear album, without a doubt, or the disturbing things in the world album

Driving down the road....what do I do? Do I try to forget him, or do I keep letting him know I haven't forgotten and I won't forget him and I'll be here when he sees. What if he doesn't see? What if he doesn't miss me and I'm being foolish? GOD why does THAT thought hurt so much?

I get home....I should call Jamie and see if he wants to hang out today. Oh wait, he's not mine anymore, surely he has other things to do. Probably wouldn't answer anyway.

Back outside, the tomato plant needs water....BLT's.

Do the dishes.....his Falcons glass.....

Clean off the table, his Alabama Koozie....do I fix it or throw it away?

Hang my jacket from the truck.....his hunting pants and hat.....maybe I can get by when he's not home and drop them in the patio.....wonder if he'd leave my flat iron out for me

WHY DO ANY OF THESE THINGS EVEN HAVE TO BE HAPPENING????

I miss you, I love you I want to see you

It's been a long day!!

2011-06-19T19:09:00.002-05:00

Why is it that when we are together, it seems like there isn't enough time in the day, but when we aren't together the days seem to be weeks long? I made dinner today that you would have napped after! Fresh peas, cornbread, potatoes and barbeque chops...just the kind of dinner you like.

I watched the game, hoping for a glimpse of you with the kids but never saw you. I saw your posts though and pictures and I know you had a great day! That makes me smile. I can't wait to hear about it. When I missed you today, I just looked at our pictures and remembered where we were and what we were doing when we took them. That makes me smile.

I wash your shirt on Sundays so its ready for bedtime. I moved your note to your side of the bed on the night stand so its the last thing I see when I turn off the light. You said you wished you were here with me, with your arms around me, and you love me. It makes me smile.

You told me this morning that you would call when you get home this evening and I know you will. Because you always do what you say you will do. And before you know it, I will get to see your sexy face. Not sure when that'll be but that makes me smile.

You love me. You said you won't stop. I believe you. You are the only person I have ever known that has never let me down. Things are not the way I would like them to be right now and I understand that. But I believe you when you say you love me and that I won't lose you completely. And that makes me smile. YOU make me smile. And in the middle of the pain and confusion and being scared, there are so so many things about the last 6 months that make me smile. Your kiss, your hugs, your face after you shave, your smell, the way you look at me when..., the way you taste, your smell (yes I know I said it twice), the curls of your hair around your hat when it needs to be cut, clicking the marker on your hat, the taste of your skin where your leg meets just there....the salty taste of your sweat when I kiss your neck after you've been outside working, the way you always think of others before yourself, the way you lift my hair and lightly kiss the back of my neck while you hold me around my waist...........................all of these things and so many more. I love you baby! I am so glad you had a great day.

Yep

2011-06-13T21:29:00.002-05:00

I wanted to send you a note to let you know that I miss you. But it always ends up sounding like I'm whining. So instead I'll tell you what it's like for me here alone....not quite as whiny.

When the kids are gone and I'm here alone, I sit on the couch crocheting, or playing on the computer and I look to the left and I see you sitting there beside me and you look at me and say "What?". I just say "Nothing." or "I love you" and you smile and say you love me too. When it's time to make the coffee before I go to bed, it's hard to remember not to make enough for you. When go to bed, I sleep in your shirt and pretend it's you wrapped around me instead. I sleep on your side of the bed and I always leave the TV on Criminal Minds until the timer turns it off.

I made your favorite for dinner tonight, cubed steak. But no biscuits because you're the only one who eats them. And please don't think for one minute that I don't still get up at 6:00 because I know it's when you' are SUPPOSED to get up. Sometimes I forget while I'm sleeping that you aren't there and I reach for you and then I remember. It's hard to go back to sleep after that.

I don't want you to be upset but we promised to always say what was really going on, right? I haven't made it 2 days yet. I try to start over every time it happens and I tell myself I won't do it again, that this time I'll stop. But something happens. I swear to you that sometimes there's a combination of scents that is almost the same as how you smell, which is a combination of your cologne and your gum and just you. Like when you laugh at me because I close my eyes and just breath you in and you say I bumped my head. I swear that smell is there sometimes and I can't explain it but I smile because I can almost feel your kiss at that moment.

I miss you baby. It's not fading. And I hope you don't think I've lost my mind, I hope you don't question it. But it is how it is. I miss you and I want to hold you and I want to watch you watch me with those eyes you used to look at me with; when we're in bed and you can't say what you're thinking but we both know. Good night love, I hope you dream of me.

I didn't make it

2011-06-09T19:45:00.004-05:00

I thought today I might make it 2 days in a row. Then there was the drive home and I totally didn't make it. Well, I made it home. But I didn't make it 2 days in a row without crying. I almost did though. It was a stand up effort and you would have been proud of me. If you could see. If you knew how ok I make everyone think I am, you would be impressed by my acting ability. You probably won't like it but you would be impressed because that's how you look at me. Like I can do anything. But sweetie, I don't know if I can do this. I'm so scared I don't know what to do. I've never been like this before. I don't know how to handle it. NOT A GIRL, remember? And shut up, I don't want to hear it, I know.

So I'm almost home and they play A little bit stronger by Sara Evans and I wanted to change the station but couldn't make myself. Instead I thought about the nights we sat on the couch and you helped me write. I wish I could remember the password to open the files! If you want me to not do this anymore, just say, but I can't think of not "talking" to you somehow about this stuff. It's not right.

Anyhow, I talked to you some today so you know kinda how my day was but I had to let you know (in case there was some mystical way you don't already) that I miss you something terrible and I dread sleeping in my bed tonight because you won't have your arms around me and I know I shouldn't do this but I'm home and I'm alone and it makes it hard not to think of you when I'm in this empty house because I see you around here and I must say, it's a fine sight and a much better memory of this old house than the ones it replaced.

I love you baby, I really wish you were here and I get it but I so don't like it and so hope it isn't just the beginning of the end but rather a restart so we can be what we need to be??!! Miss you soooooo much.

things that suck

2011-04-27T21:02:00.001-05:00

Have you ever felt the slow ache of your heart breaking while you wait for your only real love to decide???????

SOMETIMES

2011-03-19T16:54:00.002-05:00

I stand outside my life and look in and it's unrecognizable. I don't see anything I know here anymore. I see new things coming, happening, just passed, about to happen and I wonder how I made it here. Packing, job hunting, moving. ME. Moving from my hometown to live alone without my family, with very few of my friends (2) and without you. I must have lost my damn mind when I decided to do this. Now you won't let me take it back because it's my dream. But I can't take you with me and I don't know if I can stand that.

Sometimes I'm scared that you're just waiting for me to go so I'm scared to stay as much as I'm scared to leave because what if I stay and you have to find another way to let me go? Sometimes I think I'm crazy and I KNOW you do, god, how could you not? That' make you crazy wouldn't it? I don't want to know if you think I'm crazy and if you're just waiting for me to go, can you please just lie to me a little longer until I'm gone? Because I really don't think I can handle knowing right now. I think I need to be gone for it to happen because if it happens here, I could self destruct and THAT can not happen. Not here. No one can see.

Do you have any idea what you mean to me? What you've done to me? What you've shown me? How you can never take it back? How it can never be anyone but you now? Sometimes I wonder what I will do when you don't know me anymore. What if she answers my email and says, thanks Katie, all I want is my life back the way it was. and you go. and then I'm alone and here.

Sometimes I think that the best thing is to accept my life the way it is and stay here and be with you and stop dreaming about a life I can't have and I just stay here and be happy with you and make a new life of our own. I just want to stay here.

Sometimes I don't know what to do, whether to stay or go. If I should believe you or not. Do you really want me the way you say you do? I'm scared baby I'm scared of it all and I don't know what to do or what to say or whether to turn around and let you go or wait for all this to end and be happy with you. Sometimes I'm scared to know what will happen and Sometimes I'm scared of the answers to the questions.....

How do I do this?

2011-02-09T10:24:00.001-05:00

How does this always happen to me? How do I pick just the PERFECT fucking way to hurt myself? How do I chose just the right man to cause me to break my own fucking heart? He didn’t have to do anything. I’ve got this shit down to an art. Here’s how you do it...

pick the most fantastic man you’ve ever met. The family man going through a split (because you can’t call it divorce if he refuses to file). You practically rape him because who would say no? And you start falling for him. He thinks he’s falling for you too. But not quite enough to file the divorce and give you an actual shot at a life. It’s safe remember? You’re leaving town, he’s not available. You INSIST all those little things that would bother most don’t bother you at all. Christmas with the wife? Of course, the kids need him there. It’s what he would have done before you interfered. Drop the plans for New Year’s Eve because she decided his son couldn’t go. It’s what he would have done before you interfered. Convince yourself he’ll see how wonderful you are and decide he can’t live without you. And you’ll never make a suggestion that he should file or ask him to or ask him seriously to consider your feelings in this or show your ass because she’s been so straight with him about what she wants but he still can’t see it. Let him be used and manipulated by her so that he feels like he’s helping his family and making a step toward working things out - even now. Ignore the fact that you are still a secret because the kids should hear it from him, not her. Or is it really because if she knows, she’ll push the divorce? And he doesn’t want it. He STILL doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want ME. Once again. The HE in my life doesn’t want me enough to make it happen. Everything is here on a silver platter. Our life is one big whirlwind of sex and love and tears and pain and nothing like the normal we both talked about wanting and we both know if given a chance we could have. But. he won’t give us the chance. He still wants her. He doesn’t want me. Oh he wants to want me. Because he knows I’ll love him and he knows I would never hurt him. But he thought all those things about her at one time. And what if I do the same thing she did?

I can not stop crying. Because when I stop crying, I can’t breathe. I want nothing more than for him to hold me right now but I can’t ask him again to see me like this. I still can’t hurt him by letting him see me like this because he thinks its his fault. But truthfully, it’s mine. I don’t know how I got to be such a failure at this love thing. But. I most definitely have done it, now haven’t I? I’ve been married 4 times. And divorced 4 times. I’ll never get married again. He’s been married once and can’t let her go. Who could ever look at this situation and not see that I have completely set myself up to be hurt. How fucked up do you have to be to do this to yourself? What happened to me? How can I be so fucking miserable and so hopeful and so happy all at the same time? How does he make me feel like the most important person in his life while at the same time, not hiding how obvious it is that I’m at the bottom of the list? He doesn’t even do it on purpose. His intentions are the most good and honorable and perfect. His touch is amazing and his kisses I long for. His arms around me is the only place I ever want to be. And somehow I have to find a way to walk away from him and forget he was ever there. How can I know and never feel like I had that? He says I deserve to be happy and treated the way he treats me. How can he not know that no one else will ever be the same? It’ll always be him. But it’ll never be us.

Yuck

2011-02-08T20:40:00.003-05:00

You're not here right now and I'm busy busy playing over achiever with your closet and dresser. I have organized and re-folded and done things to your clothing that you will laugh and say is great and that I'm amazing or wonderful or some such nonsense. But we both know what I'm doing don't we? I'm trying to make sure you don't forget me. I keep saying it and you keep saying it's ok but it's not. I'm leaving in less than 4 months. We are going next week to look at apartments and tomorrow, if I can make the time, I'll go by the post office and get stamps to send out the first batch of resume's. Tomorrow I'll check the website and make sure everything was received as planned by GSU. Tomorrow I will start planning the rest of my life. The part that likely ends up without you in it everyday.

This is the part where you start wondering if it's really worth it. And this is the part where you say to me that you should have answered my question differently. You think I'm mad because you said you might change the way things happened. I'm not. I told you I would change it too. I would have waited. I would have been your friend for awhile. I would have been Jenny after all. (silly isn't it)

I would have waited for you to be done with your other life so that I could have the rest of your new one. I would have been a "good girl" and shown you that side of me that would truly win you over and make you see. I would have let you court me and I would have acted all shy and embarrassed when you complimented me. I would have let you kiss me good night on the 2nd date and as of 2 months into our friendship, you might be wondering right now if there could be something more between us.

I might giggle when I see your name on my phone (as if I don't do that now). I might make you wait a few hours before I answered just to keep you guessing. I might have played that game with you. Do you remember the one I mean? Where we act like we really don't care one way or the other if we see each other, secretly hoping that tomorrow one of us will call or that we might run into each other somewhere.

Maybe I'd call you lover before I leave in June. Maybe I would still be calling you friend. I would lay down my first night in my new place and wonder if you were here thinking of me, wishing you had held me a little longer or asked me if you could come visit before I left. Maybe I would call when I come home to visit and see if you'd like to have a drink. Maybe you would have someone to be your rebound girl between then and it wouldn't actually be me.

Maybe I wouldn't be the first girl you dated after your split, the one EVERYONE thinks they love because they are so much different than the wife. But not quite that much different. Maybe I'd be the one that you dated next. What if I just happened to bump into you in the Atlanta airport or at a Falcon's game, or back home when I came for a birthday party or a bar event. Maybe I'd see you at the next banquet instead of the last one. Maybe when I left that day, I didn't give you my number and I didn't come see you the next day and I'm not laying in your bed wishing at this moment that I could take it all back. Maybe I'm not sitting here trying not to cry because it seems like that's all I fucking do lately and I HATE to cry. And maybe I don't love you and maybe I don't ache to hear you say you love me to.

And maybe none of this happened and it's all been a dream and your closet is still a mess and your dresser won't quite close and my bag isn't at the foot of your bed and my heart isn't aching because you're about to walk in and maybe I can't feel your kiss or your touch or your heartbeat or mine breaking.

Yes I am blogging from my phone!

2011-01-26T20:48:00.001-05:00

Woo Hoo

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.6

The Way of Things...

2011-01-24T21:52:00.002-05:00

Wow! It's been almost a month and I SWORE I'd be here more often. Yet again, I've gotten wrapped up in what IS rather than whatever else I write about. So things are definitely different....

There is this guy,the one I was "talking to" in my last post. He's pretty cool. Kinda like him a little. But just a little. Things are going well though. I've stopped obsessing about leaving town in a few months and about what things will be like "when" he leaves and gone straight into denial that he will. Sure, I could end up surprised and hurt one day, but he'd never do that intentionally and I'll be shocked if he does, but at least I've gotten to enjoy him for that time in between and not been stressed out the whole time about what might happen.

My Secret is very supportive. He's proud of me for trying to quit smoking, he insists that I live my dream and go to law school. Something really new to me....when I do things for him, he appreciates what I do. He does things for me too, things that I've never had anyone do for me. Just from reading any of this Blog someone might be able to tell that I have taken care of others my whole life. From doing things Mom couldn't do because she was at work to helping my sisters stay out of trouble, to taking in their kids when they were in prison (at least one) and taking care of The Boy and The Girl and H2&4 and SFB and everyone else around me, I have someone in my life who lets me not worry about everything. I don't worry about him or his taking care of what he's supposed to. I don't even have to remember ALL of my own stuff. I have been surprised a few times by reminders of things I needed someone to remind me of but didn't ask. An occasional text to remind me my medicine is ready, an offer to pick up my contacts for me. And YES he got up on his day off to start my truck, which I tell EVERYONE about as an example of how wonderful he is (this annoys the shit out of him). He has said to me (on the day I snuck out and started my truck myself) "We're going to have to work on this"

We have talked of the fact that my choice in men in the past has left alot to be desired. And he has spoken of the idea that no matter what, at least he can show me how I SHOULD be treated. But he knows I don't want him to be a lesson for me. I want to keep him. I don't like that I tagged myself as the "Rebound Girl" and I want a shot at this. Whatever this will be. It'll be full of tests and worries and questions in the next few years, all of which will be hard, some of which could end our relationship. But we are smart, we talk about how we feel, we talk about what concerns us and we get it out there so neither of us is surprised by what the other thinks. We will continue this way until we figure out what we are and when/if that is something more than what we are now, we will continue to talk about our life together whether it be for the next week or the next whenever. It's crazy how you have to mess up so much before you figure out how it should be done so that no matter what happens, heartbreak is missing and all that remains, above all the rest, is someone you can always depend on and someone you will always care about, no matter where the two of you end up.

Peach out and bliss ya'll!

It's 2011 and it's looking better already!

2011-01-01T13:12:00.002-05:00

Notes to my friend, things I won't say and some I might:

I'm sitting on your couch watching the game and typing away. You have no idea I'm on the blog or that I'm "talking to you"

I had the best New Years Eve last night of all time because at midnight it was you who kissed me.

I know you are nervously waiting for my panic attack to set in but I think the storm has given you a reprieve and I may not freak out after all.

Our first conversation was about lazy days and I've shared several with you since then. This makes me smile!

Ok now you know what I'm doing but you looked away to give me privacy. You are a dear, sweet sweet man.

TOUCHDOWN!

I keep repeating myself: I don't like you I don't like you I don't like you, how many times will I have to say it to make it true? I'm starting to give up on that.

I really like keeping our secret so I don't have to share you yet, but after last night and the couple times we have gone out, I do find I really enjoy sharing you because my friends and your friends see us together and it makes them smile because we are both smiling. Sharing you is not as bad as I thought it would be. But I'll never admit that to you.

You treat my sister as a dear friend that you are sometimes concerned for and you want to make sure she's ok even if it's inconvenient for you. You invite her to hang out with us and you make her feel like she is completely welcome anytime. For this, I like you even less, I like you even less, I like you even less. It's still not working. Because of these things you do.

You got out of bed, got dressed and went outside in 25 degree weather to start my truck on your day off.

I really need to go home and do some things but I just can not make myself do it! I could care less if my house is clean or if my clothes are washed or if the trash needs to go out or if the breakfast casserole in my fridge is growing little baby casseroles yet.

I like it when I wear your clothes too.

I think you are awesome, fantastic, amazing, sexy, funny, sweet, adorable, caring, devoted, generous and a most spectacular lover among many other things I can't come up with enough words for.

I fear the end and you don't like me to think about it. We are currently in denial about that.

I don't want to miss you but I know the time will come when it can't be helped but I also know you will make it as easy for us as you can.

I know that if I need you all I need to do is call and you will be there for me.

I agree that we both needed this, I also believe we both deserve it and I can't help but smile when I close my eyes and see myself somewhere with you.

I like how every song I hear relates to us and that makes me smile too.

I enjoy the way you show me videos on YouTube of songs that remind you of me.

I like the way you look into my eyes with that little smile on your face as if you have a great secret you are just on the verge of sharing and I know that the secret is the fact that I'm laying in your arms looking back at you the same way. And it's still our secret.

I like that you don't want to talk about when I leave if you see it in writing but it scares me that the next 6 months will fly by and we will be unprepared for my going.

I like thinking of you coming to Atlanta to see me because you can't take another day without me and I hope you feel that way by then. (although I know you would probably say you already do)

We are comfortable together, fit like a glove and my days off and nights after work are so much better now than they were before. EVER

I dread going back to school in 2 weeks because it will interfer with our time together significantly. But you say you'll be ok with it and you'll sit beside me while I study. I really think you will do that.

I think you're dying to know what I'm writing about but you won't ask to see it.

I think I've spent too much time on here already talking about you instead of snuggling with you.

I think these things will not change and that regardless of what happens in our future, we have this time and we will enjoy it to the fullest. I think we will always be a part of each others lives from this point on in some manner or another and I think that is a wonderful, amazing, unbelievable, fantastic thing.

Peach out and all gooshy inside ya'll!

Its a whole new life

2010-12-24T18:56:00.003-05:00

and I'm loving it actually. Things are so much different for me. The possibilities are endless. H2&4 is gone. Forever. Not exactly the forever I was expecting but what cha gonna do? I've got big plans though, huge even! I'm moving to Atlanta this summer and I'm so excited I can't stand it! I will be transferring to Georgia State University and going to law school. I've always wanted to and now there's nothing stopping me! Been shopping for apartments online found one place I REALLY like, hope to go up in the Spring to check out the complex make sure there's no need to carry my .45 every where and check out the model apartment!

So I met/re-met someone who I've had a crush on for a LOT of years. I already have a name for him for on here he's "Secret". It's a secret so he's THE Secret and blah blah blah. Of course, as with me always, there are issues. He's going through the same thing I just did, married 19 years and wifey calls up one day and says "I want out". He's not quite divorced yet so the drama that would ensue if word got out about us is astronomical. I almost don't care. For me I really don't care. But even though, when H2&4 finds out, the shit will hit the fan anyway. Of course, I could give a damn. He can like it or he will die pissed. But Secret isn't divorced yet, which means drama is bad. I would NEVER let this hurt him that way. His kids are the most important thing for Secret and I will not end up causing him to have some crazy reduced visitation or the wife getting full custody. I couldn't live with that. Besides, I'm really enjoying the secret part of the whole thing. I get him to myself and don't have to share him yet. I'm really happy with that.

I don't know what will happen. I know that I miss him when he's not here, I don't like not seeing him at all. I know that the thought of him going back to wifey makes me really nervous and not happy at all. But I also know that he didn't want any of this, the divorce part anyway, and he would do what he could to get his family back. So we're taking it easy, enjoying each other and not making any promises that we can't keep. I could never be the "other woman" and he thinks I don't deserve that anyway so that's out of the question. If he goes back, it'll be over. So I can't get too close. THIS is the reason that I tell him I don't like him. If I don't say it out loud then it's not real right? So I don't like him at all. And we won't talk about the things he does or says or the touch or emotion involved in this "relationship". Because none of those things are impressing me at all. None of those things are going to change my mind about leaving (for real though). And at the same time, all of those things will keep me wondering what it will be like when I go away. Will he miss me? Will I wish I had stayed? I will not let him know I've even considered it. It's too damn soon. It's all so soon. But I can't go back now. I don't even want to. I wouldn't have started our relationship any other way than the way it started.

We've known each other a long time. He was married, I was single and for the last 15 years every time I saw him, I wondered, the great question of all time "What If?" And now I know! Now I know what I was missing all those years. The attention he gives me, the consideration for something that he see's in me that I don't even known is there. The comfort that I feel when his arms are around me. The way he can look into my eyes and know before I do that I'm sad or that something has upset me. The way he kisses me just there on the back of my neck in a spot I never ever knew was sensitive. I just don't like the thought that he could go away tomorrow. I don't like the fact that I know his family is so important to him that I would let him go in a second if he could get that back. But I do like that he doesn't think he would be able to not have me in his life. I like that he doesn't think he could lay in bed with her thinking of me knowing he'd never see me again. For that, I can sleep tonight and not worry TOO much that he'll be coming out to say goodbye. But it also doesn't mean I'm not still expecting it. It's what happens to me, the good ones go away and I'm left alone again waiting on that guy that never shows. He's shown now and I'm not sure I could lay in bed thinking of him knowing he's never coming back either. I don't know if I could take that.

It is Christmas Eve. My Dad is here so I'm not completely alone. But frankly I can't wait for it to be over so I can be in his arms again, listening to his heartbeat waiting for his next kiss, knowing that when I roll over in the middle of the night and wake up for a short minute, he'll wake too and ask if I'm ok. I miss you babe, wish you were here! Peach out and smilin' like a cat eating briars ya'll!

Fall Sunday in Georgia

2010-10-03T10:06:00.003-05:00

Been cleaning this joint today. Smells yummy in here from the Sopapilla Cake I cooked and mopping the floor. Got family day in the park later. Homework is something I should be doing now.

Ever had a GREAT night that you wanted to keep going? That was my Friday. Went to the Bar with my SIL and hung out for awhile, hit the Awful Waffle and ran into on hot SOB I haven't seen in ages. He joined us. We talked a bit, went back to the bar...swapped numbers. He's an upstanding kinda guy, wants to wait until the divorce is final before potential hanging out turns into more hanging out. Kinda cool. I can respect that, who'd want to get involved in crazy shit? Not me! And while I know my shit's not crazy, dude don't know that though. Frankly, I could just sit across the room and look at his fine ass and be content.

SIL is coming for enchiladas later, that girl loves my enchiladas! My brother has screwed up big time, ran off with a crack whore one night before he left the country for a year, took $600 out of their account. SIL is beside herself. I can't believe he'd do that to her. She's put up with so much shit from him, it amazes me how much she still loves that asshole.

H2&4 is coming to get his stuff today. This will be interesting. Last night was full of texts from him wanting to change his mind and not go. I said no. I can't trust his feelings for me anymore. He did this and he can't take it back. I spent 15 years taking care of us and the minute things are going to be normal again, he bails on me. No help, no warning, just "I think I should leave" Now he thinks he can make it all ok, says he can get over the things he's upset about in a month that he couldn't get over in the last 6 years. NOT LIKELY. I'm no fool. And to take him back now would be lying to myself and going against what fundamentally makes me, me!

Gotta hit the books!

Peach out and gettin some learnin!

So Whadda Ya Do?

2010-09-21T20:18:00.002-05:00

Keep on keeping on I'm thinking. So getting to the update quickly, you should know that H2&4 is now, again, ex H2 and now ex H2&4. Confusing? Should be, I've been taking Algebra and this shit still doesn't fucking add up! Funny how it finally applies to real life and I still hate the shit.

My soon to be re-ex husband has become a whiny woo is me pain in the ass. I think I just pissed him off but who fucking cares, right? He didn't care enough about me to figure out what it was he wanted before he sucked up 3 more years of my life and left me high and dry, why the hell should I care about hurting his feelings?

Cause that's me.

Fucker. I'm so aggravated right now with a 46 year old man bitching about how life is hard. Guess what honey? It's like that for everyone. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. Add to that the factors that include you brought all this shit on yourself and you have an Algebraic equation that is pretty damn easy to solve. Take care of your shit. Quit whining and nut up because DAMN!

When you left, you decided I no longer was going to be a part of your life. So there.

Agghhhh.

And that there, folks, is the update. I'm single again. I'm working full time, going to school full time, paying my own bills, figuring out that there is no one, NOT ONE PERSON on this planet I can depend on other than myself. ***insert whiny statement of "Life is too haaaarrrrrd" here*** What the fuck ever! It's life, no one promised us easy, no one promised us a life of perfect, unadulterated fun, no one promised us that nothing would ever hurt us or that one perfect someone would come into our life and make all the pain go away. (Yep, pissed him off with that one)

So it's thundering and probably going to storm and I'm going to be up all night scared shitless unless I go to my truck and get that Xanax waiting for me so I can sleep all night. Nah. I'll be ok. Geeze, life is so hard....go get the Xanax and sleep, stay on the computer and wait it out? Decisions decisions.

Welp. There you have it. The first of updates to come. Maybe one day I'll be funny again. Maybe not. Right now I'm irritated and it shows. Hope you laugh, but if you don't, at least now you know. I'm back and I'm not leaving anymore. This place makes me feel so much better!

Peach out and DONE with the stupid shit ya'll!

yea I know

2010-07-31T22:02:00.002-05:00

All I can write these days are words from songs I hear that someone else wrote and apply them in my mind to my life. It sucks ass but it is what it is. Never what it was supposed to be, only what it is.

Someone else I know wrote that, borrowed too. So damn. Since I don't cry. And it's because all my tears are used up, please explain to me why my eyes are full of tears just begging to fall down my face? Why? It's the hardest question to answer you know. Someone said so in a song, probably Tantric or Shinedown. Somebody save me, right?

Rambling in Katie's rambling way.....but stranger. I'm home alone. I couldn't take another minute of smiling and acting like it's all ok. I can't do that anymore. I've been lied to you. By the one who swore that I'd never be lonely again. And here I am. Alone, lonely even when you're here, only you don't speak to me unless we're in public or in front of friends. Course, it's gonna be my fault again. You're never wrong. I should never question you or what you do. I should assume that you would never do anything to risk our marriage. But you know what? You're risking it whether you 'DO' anything or not. I remember something you used to say to me that just absolutely aggravated me to no end....and all I can think is how badly I want to say it to you right now....."Tell me again why I'm so fucking lucky". And then I wish you would because I want it to make sense. I want to know what happened while you were gone that made you into this person. Or was it when you left? YOU left remember? I didn't ask you to. It's been 6 years since you left and you're still gone. I don't know what to do without you. I know I enjoyed being single. I can get there again. But the question that kills me is how do I get there? How do I get back to life without you. Cause it's coming. I can feel it in my bones and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should fight or surrender. I don't know how to make the tears I don't cry go away. I don't know how to make you love me like you used to. I don't know how to make you happy. I don't know why she's so fucking important to you. I don't know why I can't call her and tell her to stay the fuck away from you. She would because she's scared of me. But maybe....I do know. Maybe because when I do, it'll be me you're mad at for calling her and scaring her. I should do it. I should call her right now and tell her to fuck off and stay away from my husband. As bad ass as I always am, why can't I find it within me to call her and tell her to stay the fuck away from you? Could it be because over a year ago when I asked you to do that, you didn't? Could it be because YOU should stop calling HER and I shouldn't have to tell ANYONE but you. Could it be because I shouldn't even have to tell you? How do I live with myself tomorrow knowing those tears are mine and it wasn't because of a dream? How do I do this? How do I let you go again?

Well, look who's here!

2010-05-11T19:47:00.001-05:00

I miss this place. I should come here more often. It's pretty cool actually and I can't remember the last time I visited. There's so much to say, so many things to ramble about. But no time. I'm back in school and the semester just ended. Today sucks because I've felt like complete ass all day. I'm vegging on the couch and only plan to leave for regularly expected bathroom trips and refills of my tea.

I am out of school until August and I'm out of battery life on my computer. I'm too tired and yucky to go sit with it plugged in or even go get the charger to bring it in the living room. So away I go to contemplate the many musings I may post here again soon. Coming soon, a Peach near you!

Peach out and yuckiness ya'll!

Ramblings of a Katie

2009-08-09T10:20:00.002-05:00

I'm only 37, when did I get so old my knees hurt all the fucking time?

I HATE laundry day

Would it be wrong to put white russian mix with vodka in my coffee?

No, I won't drive my truck over to pick up my scooter because then you'll have to take me BACK over there to get my truck!???? WTF

I <3 tomato sandwiches, with a slice of vidalia onion!!!!

What was I thinking taking all the carpet out of the house? Now I have to SWEEP everything.

Three day work weeks rock!

It's 11:24, I need a nap!

Only one more week before I go back to school.

I miss my husband when he's not here.

Could someone come over and finish sanding my cedar chest? I'd really like it to be in my spare bedroom making all my blankets smell good!

How come when my hand itches, it doesn't mean I'm getting money? It just means my hand itches.

Blockbuster Online is AWESOME

Fuck the laundry, I'm going to watch a movie......

Peach out and restless ya'll

GOOD LAWD WHERE DID I GO?

2009-08-05T21:54:00.006-05:00

Ok. So I deserted you. I understand if you don't love me anymore. I still love you! I still sneak onto your site from time to time and get so caught up in what's been going on with you that my husband thinks I've been sucked into the laptop and will never be found again. My life has been chaotic at best and all in a good way. Finally.

I've started my 2nd year re-married to H2&4 and it's still blissfully disgusting to anyone not as happy as we are. We spend our weekends swimming or going to some party or other or just laying on the couch watching TV (or at least that's what he does while I study). We have MAN SHIT NIGHT every Wednesday which is what happens when alot of single guys and alot of married guys with wives who want them out of the house for "Oh please just one night a week" come hang out with us. And we fucking love it. And yes, I'm a chic, but I get an ok for attending at least part of MAN SHIT NIGHT because I live here and they all know I am a chic and not a typical girl. They act like it's ok for me to be there. And it probably is. But it's MAN SHIT NIGHT. Which means no boobs of the wife persuasion. So i hang for a bit, look around and see them enjoying themselves so much with just the guys that I eventually sneak back into the house and chill for while. Hmmmm Look where I ended up this time. Back at ATCL. I sure do miss this place.

My life is no longer a train wreck. I love my husband and my family and I have a good life. A very happy can't wait to see his face tomorrow kind of life. And so I disappeared. There is a certain amount of stress for everyone, however and I forgot about this place I come to share my angst with SOMEONE, ANYONE, EVERYONE who will listen. Today there is no angst. I am Angst free. But I was reminded of my second home tonight when one of the Man Shit Night Men mentioned a website was good to have. He was impressed when I told him about you. He thought it was cool that people used to come here and comment and say hi and wait for the train to wreck. And it made me sad that I don't come here anymore. H2&4 has no issues with this place. He knows I like to vent and he knows I like to babble. And when I babble here, I'm not aggravating the hell out of him. He probably forgot about you too! But here I am. Home Sweet Home. I think I'll come back. Maybe not every day. But from time to time and certainly more often than once a fucking year! Damn! That shit sucks! You heard about my Thanksgiving last time I was here! I'm such a bad friend! So maybe I'll see you again this week. Would that be cool? I'll meet you at the coffee shop on the corner. Maybe try out some of my new fancy University Student learnin' on ya? How does that sound?

Peach out and smilin' ya'll!

It's an odd odd day

2008-11-28T13:00:00.001-05:00

Post Turkey Day

Big plans for the weekend. Not really. Going to visit friends in Alabama Saturday until Sunday. Next week is big though, we get The Kid (grandson) for the weekend Yay!!! He's so friggin' adorable. I need to put a picture of him up here. Always forget when I'm home....

No Christmas tree for Casa Katie this year, unless I got to Sears and purchase the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, which is wicked cool. Last 2 years we had a virtual tree. If you weren't in the spirit, you couldn't see the imaginary tree in the corner. We never spend enough time at home during the holidays to justify the expense to me. Plus you HAVE to have a real tree, if you do have one. So no. Not doing it.

Thanksgiving was good. The Girl and her family came for dinner, The Boy and his Girl came, as did The New Son. Which is another story for another day. Or maybe not....

There have always been rumors in the family about The New Son. Some say he belongs to H2&4, some say he doesn't. H2&4 didn't believe it either, or admit to it for a while. When you have an ex who is bloody Psycho as his, you tend to not believe anything they say. Such is the case here. Couple that with the fact that we haven't seen The New Son in several years, so the resemblance was not immediately forthcoming. However, After we had a birthday party for The Kid in our back yard, for which the Psycho attended, along with her two boys and the entire family got along, we I got a call from Psycho saying that The New Son belongs to H2&4 and that he said to her (a 15 year old mind you) that he's always felt out of place and only felt like he belonged somewhere when he was at our house. Not that the boy isn't open to such feelings, but what 15 year old has ever admitted to something that deep? None I tell you. So I spoke to H2&4 about it. She only wants them to have a relationship and she's not asking for anything, The New Son just wants to get to know his father. This is the same chic who convinced The Girl that H2&4 beat her when they were married, as if that's even possible from him. My husband is very prone to avoiding conflict whenever possible, no matter who it's with. He's just not that kind of mean. The Girl eventually figured her out and we now have a wonderful relationship with her and she is very close to her Daddy.

Fast forward two months to about three weeks ago. Psycho calls H2&4 to tell him directly that The New Son is his child. H2&4 is conflicted, I can see. So I let it go for a few days. Then, the day before we are scheduled to shooting, I asked him what he thought and he said he thinks The New Son is his and he wants to get to know him. So albeit a hesitant call because who the hell knows what Psycho is up to, he called and asked if The New Son (TNS) could go with us. And it was and he did and we had a blast. He also came over for dinner yesterday (Thanksgiving) and we had a great time. He even took some of my Infamous buttermilk pie home with him! Oh and did I mention he looks exactly like H2&4? Hands, arms, torso, nose, hair, the only think Psycho about him is his eye color. It just makes me think, no matter how evil, deceptive, manipulative and Psycho she has always been, every day for the last however many years, she's had to look at two children who are the spitting image of their father. That alone, makes me smile a little inside. The fact that she's lied to everyone for so long and waited until TNS was 13 to tell him the truth, makes me very very angry at her. But there is no amount of anger I could ever have that would outweigh the hurt I see in H2&4's eyes when he looks at his son and knows how many years he has missed of his life. All he can do now, is get to know his grown child and take the revelation for what it means to him and TNS with watchful eye on Psycho.

I'm Thankful that TNS is coming around and my H2&4 has his son in his life. It makes me smile when he looks at me and says "That's my son".

Peach out and on cloud nine ya'll

Shhhh Don't tell Anyone I was Here...

2008-11-25T16:36:00.001-05:00

There's no real way to this except to just do it....I'm picking up and acting like I never left.

There's nothing bothering me, I'm not depressed, involved in a no where loser relationship with a crack head. I see my son once or twice a week because he's moved out on his own now and has no time for his silly little mother. Unless, of course, I'm cooking Chicken Fried Rice, in which case "Hey Mama! I love you sooooo much, yea we'll be over Sunday for dinner". And so he shows and we hang and then he leaves and it's an empty nest again. **sigh** Such is life right now.

Still working at the bar 2 nights a week, still like it, still can't friggin' wait for the end fo December when I get to Q-U-I-T so I can star school in January!! That's sure to bring on the funny, eh? My old ass sitting in class with a bunch of children my son's age and me with my big mouth too? Helllloooo, yeah, it should be interesting. If I don't kill myself before I get out of Hey You Scored a 21 out of 100 Math for Dummies class. Right. 12 years ago, and again now, I score 21 on a math test. I think I actually did alot worse than that but because of the self esteem thing with most folks entering college at some time or other, they don't give you less than 21 because they don't want you to kill yourself with a math book or a compass or a ruler or something. Cause, seriously, what the hell are the chances that I got a 21 on the damn test twelve fucking years ago and then again now? How the hell is that even possible? It's bullshit I tell ya! That's why I suck at math, I can't figure out how they do that shit and always come up with the same fucking thing a + b = x my fat ass!

Anyhow, it's probably a good thing because seriously, if I had to take College Algebra and don't know Middle Schooll Algebra, how the hell would I graduate? Right. See. So I'm ok with the You're a Dumbass math class for now. Maybe it won't be long. Plus, I have a wig and sunglasses, no one will ever know it was me!

Peach out and all is well, ya'll

What is that? Could it be a POST?

2008-09-21T09:17:00.003-05:00

Son of a bitch I've been busy. I hate that I don't come here anymore. I need to come here more. It's like therapy, but maybe my lack of posts is why I feel fucking nuts right now. How about a little Rambling?

Since last I was here, these things have happened:

My baby graduated and moved out.

I went and cooked him dinner at his place last weekend

I have made up with my friends that I lost when H2&4 left.

We had a party for of their brother's last night that just got back from Guam and a I remembered so vividly how much I missed them.

I didn't cry

Me & H2&4 got a new mattress

We moved into The Boy's room when he moved out

H2&4 and BIL put new tile and counter tops in the kitchen

Me and H2&4 fought because I had a problem fixing the cold water line HE left off when he did the sink and counter tops a FUCKING MONTH AGO.

He's gone now to get a new water line.

Cause I'm right.

The Boy starts Technical College next week. Yikes

I start CSU in January

I will blog again tomorrow with a more normal type post

But now that you're all caught up, when I post and say "Remember when I said" you'll know it came from this half ass update page.

Peach out and my kitchen's full of water but I can't flush my toilet. YA'LL

Ch ch ch Changes

2008-07-20T13:02:00.004-05:00

So yea I'm alive. I really don't know at what point in my life I stopped blogging regularly except that it seems to have something to do with H2&4 coming back into my life. This is the difference from before and after, you see. Before, I sat at home and secretly blogged from here and work because SFB was a fucking idiot. Now, H2&4 couldn't be any farther away from jealous or a fucking idiot. He's a great wonderful man whom I love spending all my time with and miss terribly when he's away. Just look at us....

Aren't we adorable?

We seem to be NEVER home and when we are we spend so much time catching up with housework I am seriously considering getting someone to clean for me! I just painted my sons old room (he moved out :-( ) and we moved into his room. Now I'm taking a break from pulling up tack strip that held the most terrible country blue stained carpet you have ever seen in our old bedroom. Next step: staples come out from holding down the padding and I paint the baseboards. What's H2&4 doing you ask? Laying on the couch watching The Simpson's Movie and nursing a really nasty boil. It's really gross, you would not believe how gross.

Stuck on Dierks Bentley lately, he's fucking hot and we saw him in concert last month

H2&4 bought me a scooter last month and it was delivered last week. I thought I was going to start out as a Pro but that shit scared the hell out of me the first time I rode it. That means the gas saving ride to work will have to wait at least a week or so until I feel comfortable enough to actually ride it on a road more than 20 mph. I did get back on yesterday and rode for a while and it was MUCH better. Some things need to be tweaked a little before I go all out. Like the intense shaking inside my body at the thought of no metal between me and the pavement. (Shaddup, I've never ridden anything alone that had 2 wheels and a motor.) Anyway, Here's a pic of me on the one I went to check out before I bought mine....

So maybe the room doesn't get finished today, maybe I'll just go ride on my scooter all afternoon. Then drink beer after I park it. Sounds like fun to me!

Peach out and Scootin' around ya'll!

Hi, it's me

2008-06-07T10:33:00.003-05:00

So where ya been? work work work. That's it and play play play, of course. It is summer in Georgia and there are Lakes and Pools and friends and barbeque and who the hell wants to be in the house on the computer. My baby just graduated from high school and he's moving out in two weeks. I know he's not a baby and he doesn't look like one, he's 6'3" tall and he's a beautiful young man. But. He's still my baby. Fortunately, we're helping his friend buy a house and they are going to room together. Which is way better since there won't a lease to get out of if things don't work out.

My husband is still the coolest dude on the planet even though he pisses me off sometimes. We went out last night and decided to go to the Awful Waffle after. He said he as 2 minutes behind me, I waited 10 and he wasn't there, so I came home. Then he fell asleep on the couch and stayed there all night. Ass. But then he crawled into bed with me this morning and laid his head on my chest and held me and I wasn't mad anymore. I love him. TONS AND BUNCHES.

We're leaving shortly to go camping with Pop and I can't wait to go fishing!!!! The Boy says he's cleaning his room tonight. We'll see how that goes. Having a yard sale in a couple weeks with a couple of girlfriends, I'm going to use what money I make to buy me a Scooter. I will post a picture of me sitting on my sweet 80 - 100 mpg ride when I get it. Jealous much?

Peach out and fishin' ya'll!

THE BIG DAY

2008-03-13T12:32:00.002-05:00

Is today.....We are getting married today! YAYYYYY!!!

Snow in Georgia, Wedding Plans, Paint Production

2008-03-08T10:25:00.003-05:00

Did you guess I'd be rambling today?

Finished painting last weekend. House looks great! All that's left is to finish that little spot around the new light int he bathroom and cut in the top of the computer room. Computer room looks fucking awesome, white walls suck ass and now I have no white walls in my house. Save The Boy's room but his walls are covered with throw blankets. Yeah. Don't ask. The kid has a thing. Besides his shoe obsession, there are 3 throw blankets hanging on his walls. Sponge Bob (of course, cause 17 is not to old for Sponge Bob), Georgia Bulldogs and his high school. The kid is weird sometimes. That and the fact that his floor is over 1/2 covered with various color coordinated tennis shoes (coordinated with his wardrobe). I ain't moving that shit to paint. Plus. *Gulp* I suspect he and his buddies are planning to get an apartment after graduation, which means his room will be empty and that will suck. Last time he went to stay with his dad for a year, I made nightly visits to his bedroom floor where I cried for hours. This growing up shit sucks ass! (wow, that turned into paint update vs. Mom's wiggin' out!)

The Wedding Plans. Have been changed as previously hinted at (yes I end sentences in prepositions). H2&4 (new name since he's going to be my 2nd and 4th husband) asked his parents what they thought about going to the Courthouse with us and getting married there. Mom thought it was fine, Dad doesn't really mind either way, as long as they are with us. So. Next Thursday, I suspect, we will be remarried. H2&4 was supposed to call Judge Bobby yesterday and see what his schedule is like. I suspect (word of the day apparently) he forgot. So. We'll see. Party is still on for April 12 and I plan on changing the invites to say "We couldn't wait so we got married without you" or some such nonsense.

Snow in Georgia. Yep. Woke up this morning to a nice steady snow in South Georgia! Most people around here have short memories so I'm sure there will be a lot of Global Warning bullshit (which by the way, I think is a crock!) going on. But, history proves that if it snows in our part of Georgia, it is always in March. Examples you ask? When I was 2, we got 18 inches of snow (the blizzard of 1973), when my son was 2, we got 8 inches of snow (the blizzard of 1992), this year, when my grandson is almost 2, we got about 2 inches which melted before it covered the ground good. There have been instances of this 2 inch phenom over the years, always in December or March. Mostly March. I know I'm not a meteorologist and I had a hard time spelling the word. I don't watch the news and I only watch the weather when it snows or I'm planning an outdoor party. I have panic attacks during thunderstorms remember?

There's a party today, and we haven't seen our friends for about a month with all the camping, painting and out of town shit that's been going on. We went to Alabama for a weekend which was super fucking cool because we saw two of our best friends ever that neither of us have seen in awhile. We had a blast and lots of beer was ingested. Some things always remain the same.

Life is grand, there are no complaints in Casa Katie and love is in the air. Fucking cheesy. I sound like a girl.

Peach out and snow in Georgia ya'll!

Paint paint paint paint paint

2008-02-17T14:53:00.001-05:00

Ever get tired of the paint colors in your house. Quickly? Been here 3 years and this weekend I repainted the kitchen. And I made new valances and now I'm painting the hall. Almost. It's empty. And ready to go. But H2 is in the bathroom playing Yahtzee and I can't pick up the 5 gallon bucket of paint to pour it in the paint pan. and there's too much shit on the table so I can't work the puzzle.

So I came by for a visit. Wedding in like two months minus 6 days, whatever that is. Although we keep threatening to run off again. Only this time we'll take his parents with us. And then have a party on the 12th of April and tell everyone then. Ha! That'll show em.

So yea, this is a pointless aimless post written to pass time while the Yahtzee King proves his position scoring like 700 billion points on the throne. I'm off to prep some more and admire the handy work already completed in the kitchen. Ya'll have a good day!

Peach out and sauteed mushroom colored walls ya'll

A Couple of Things

2008-02-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

The weekend in review goes something like this...

Matt Damon is hot even if the Bourne Ultimatum is not my favorite of the 3 movies. Friday was movie night as always, kind of my and H2's version of date night. Movies were watched and sex was had and all is right with the world.

Fast forward to the coming Monday, which I took off in anticipation of finishing up some painting that needs to be done. Yes folks, it seems that along with ability to ration how happy my life was just prior to fucking everything up, I also eventually lost my ability to have taste in interior paint colors. This being the 3rd house I've owned, it is the only one I never quite "redid" to my liking. However, I did some painting that first year and as time passes, I see that I was absolutely fucking nuts for a couple years there. Coming to my senses it seems in all aspects of my life, I decided to paint this weekend.

But. Saturday. I couldn't bring myself to do shit except make home made potato skins for our friend's birthday party. So that's just what I did and that is all I did. But they were good and the party was funtastic! I had a surprise in store it seems as well, H2, not taking away from our pal's birthdays, decided that since everyone was together, it was time to announce that we are getting remarried. Imagine my shock when it happened if you will. He asked me on Christmas Eve and little has been said about it since then. Friends were ecstatic and ready to make all the necessary plans for us. Cool K is cooking, she has let it be known and will have it no other way unless she can convince us to go to Vegas for a huge everyone's invited party. Not happening. Our backyard all friends and family included some time in April. Deal.

Sunday was the day H2 and I decided to go tell his folks we're tying the knot. Only the day, once again got away from us. So. We went to the Super Bowl party of the year, always at H&L's house because that's their gig. Fun again was had by all. Disappoint reared it's ugly head when the Patriots lost the game in the last 35 seconds. I've never been a football fan but due to Cool K's enthusiasm for the game, there has been a party each and every weekend for which to watch the ball of foot. I now understand the game a great deal and enjoy it very much. I have to pick a team to follow because someone out there needs the support of a new found fan. The Steelers it seems will be the team, as H2 is a lifetime fan which is kinda odd since he's got no ties, but apparently that doesn't matter in football.

Today is the Monday that I was going to "finish" painting. Today. I. Started. Painting. HA! I removed all the really really green cabinet doors and put on a coat of primer. Kilz to be exact. I have painted many many times in my life, but never have I used Kilz. I was completely not aware that it will ruin a sink if you try to clean up in it. Fortunately I did realize it was oil based and knew I had paint thinner in the shed. It is apparently not a good idea to use paint thinner and water because apparently the water has an effect on the Kilz that is really really bad. Enter H2 to save the day, turn off the water and clean the sink with thinner alone. I had to use thinner on my hands to get the Kilz off them as well. I really was upset about that because paint thinner and nail polish don't work well together me thinks. me was wrong. My nails are still beautiful and the sink is shiny shiny!!! The cabinet doors are ready for their top coat. Yippee!!!

Now the biggie. I've never been one to concern myself with what others think of me. I am who I am and the majority of people like me. As far as I know. And I'm ok with not knowing. H2's Dad loves me and has always loved me even when I did stupid shit like get us divorced. H2's Mom was questionable at first but still loved me and has let me know she is happy I'm back. She missed me. I love H2's family to death and would prefer spending time with them vs. my family any day. The kids have been told we are getting married again. His parents and niece and brother have not. I just got out of the shower. We are going over to tell them tonight. For a person who doesn't really care what anyone thinks, why the hell am I scared to death right now? Cross your fingers for me folks and let's hope the love is strong enough to really have forgiven my sins.

Peach out and nervous as a cat ya'll!

How many Days in a row have I Posted?

2008-01-28T20:27:00.000-05:00

There is a test later. And my drunk tests are hard.

I've missed blogging and catching up on everyone. I've been running through my Blogroll and DAMN you people have had alot of shit going on! But you are much better than me about coming around daily!

I don't have much to say today but thought I'd share this...I'm a dork. I can't remember shit in the morning except what time to leave and if I do remember anything else, I will be late for work. Period. I'm always early and I hate being late. The only thing I can do to remember to take my lunch is to put a note on the door.

I just redid my note. (Redid is a word and H2 can tell you it is because he's heard me use it before. I have my own language, remember?)

My note is in the shape of an H because my last name starts with one (the current last name not the other 3) and in the middle it says Lunch and then it says...oh fuck it, here's a picture:

EDITED SO YOU CAN'T SEE HOW FUCKING BAD I NEED TO REPLACE THAT DOOR CAUSE DAMN! Also edited to protect H2's real name. You didn't think his real name was H2 did you? Man I hope not, if so, you're a dork!

Peach out and I'm loved ya'll!

(In case you're wondering, Boston Butt with Butt Juice - long story - and steamed broccoli bitches! Jealous much?)

Catching Up with the Past

2008-01-27T18:53:00.001-05:00

Today I received a phone call from someone I was putting off making a call to. There are times in our lives when we realize that we were so very wrong about so many things. At least for me. The mistakes of my past have caused more wrinkles in my present that I care to admit. But. Slowly. Ever so slowly, the wrinkles are ironing out.

When H2 and I were divorced, I walked away from every relationship I had with every friend that was associated with H2 and I as a couple and some individually. Not because they were telling me what I didn't want to hear. But because I was embarrassed that I was doing it anyway. Hind sight being what it is, I can see that now. That and it was easier for me to fade away. SFB didn't want me talking to anyone who knew H2 because of his paranoia. Which worked out for me because then I didn't have to look into the eyes of those who loved me the most and knew what would happen. There were more than one. They all told me they loved me and they would be there for me but they felt I was not making a good decision. All of them would have been there. But I didn't call. I put it off to keep from making excuses or having to lie to SFB to keep from fighting about it. The lengths of changes in my life are enormous. The effect what I did had on me is catastrophic as far as I can see. I lost at least one friend over it and scurried myself off to a little hole very lacking in the support circle I had before H2 left. As days go by and we see more and more of those people, I find myself regretting even more the decisions I made. It wasn't all about me and H2 and SFB. There are so many other people who loved me too that I walked out on. It saddens me the years H2 and I lost. It saddens me more the years those friends were not in my life. When I needed them most, I thought I was alone, SFB convinced me they didn't care. He made me ashamed to call on those who would have helped me. And I continued to make myself suffer. Punishment, you see.

Today what is truly my best friend called me. She and her husband started dating a few months before H2 and I did. Our relationships grew together and we got married within a year of each other. Our kids knew each other and we had dinner together every week, at least once. We were the best of friends. My friend De is the only other real person I know besides H2. She is straight forward, supportive and her wisdom is far beyond her years. I love her like the sister I never had and I have 5 sisters. She has been supportive of me since I met her and only once questioned my decisions. That was when I left H2. She supported me then too though. H2 lived with her and Chris when we first split. But she called me every day and let me know how he was. She told me she didn't like what happened but as long as we didn't talk about SFB, she would still meet me for dinner and we'd still be friends. I took it as she was making me choose. What an ass I was.

De called me today. I've been putting off calling her because I've been so ashamed of myself that I couldn't face the conversation. Do you know what she said to me when I answered the phone? "It's about time you woke up." She missed me and said the last 2 1/2 years have been very hard for her because she didn't know how I was or if I needed her. She missed calling me and seeing me. I told her I missed her too. I knew I could call her when it was really bad and I knew she would come. I knew she would kill him. and I knew that she knew how ashamed I was. So proud that I was never in an abusive relationship like Mom and 3 of my sisters. And there I was, lying in the floor being kicked in the head by the man so many told me would only hurt me. How could I face my very best friend and tell her how wrong I was? How could I ask her for help? Because she's De and she's always been there for me and because she loved me when I didn't deserve it. Just like H2.

We're going to see them in February. They live about 45 miles from here and we're going to stay for the weekend. Chris is going to cook Salmon on the grill because I love it, especially when he does it. And De will make the best tossed salad ever, like always and we'll drink wine and play cards and have coffee in the morning. And I will be with my best friends in the world. H2 and De and Chris. (And that damn cat they have) But most of all I will be happy and I will be loved. My life has come full circle. No one on this planet is as appreciative and happy as I am right now. De - you don't know about this place. Maybe I'll tell you. Maybe I won't. But Karma knows how wonderful you are and so do I. I have missed you so much and I would have given anything to have you close when it was bad. But that was part of my punishment, you see, everything good had to go. Someone somewhere or something has decided that I have paid enough. I have my life back and I could not be more thankful.

Peach out and everything's wonderful, ya'll

2008-01-26T12:48:00.000-05:00

Ha! I Figured out the Title Thing!

I changed the template - what do ya think? Better than those damn flowers, right?

Peach out!

2008-01-25T14:17:00.000-05:00

Hey ya'll !!! So yea, I'm around here and there. Cool thing his Google documents letting me post on my blog, huh? So. Thought today would be a good day for the ramblin' thing what with being gone so long and shit right?

The Boy and his girlfriend broke up the week before Christmas. Love her, but she's a bit loony. Her Mom called me one night when I was working at The Bar and She was fucking screaming in the background like Someone was cuttin goff her toes and shit. Mom said something about institutions and I said sure, I'll tell The Boy not to call her or answer her calls. **Ring Ring - "That Child is crazy, change your number and run" Which is what he eventually did, but damn, it sucks, she was such a cool chic and they dated for 2 years. Oh well, if the crazy manifests itself at 15, you damn sure don't want to wake up next to a bitch with a knife at 30, don'tchaknow?

The Bar. Has been closed for 3 weeks and I miss working. Shhhh, don't tell anyone. I keep wanting to quit so I'm torn right now. It's been really cool going home and hanging out after work at the CU with H2 and the d-o-g. And The Boy too! He's been coming home early lately.

My life is actually getting back to where it used to be. Don't ever let any tell you you can't go back because I am there yo! H2 asked me to marry him and the big day is in July. Not sure which yet though. At that point we will be very close to where we were when we split. Just for the record, life was much better when I had no regrets. Now, my only one is losing him for 2 1/2 years and not realizing until it was too late that it wasn't too late. I love you baby - always have, always will.

City job is on the market and H2 has applied for it. It is his old job and the pay is way better than it was when he left town. Send us your good Karma, he's really nervous about it. (although you wouldn't know it unless you know him like I do and you don't so just take my word)

Something happened to my computer at work and I can get to blogs. I haven't told anyone and I clear the cache every day before I leave. I sneak around occassionally and check stuff out but not too much. Don't want to risk it alot you know. I probably shouldn't even be posting from Google docs but, well, we'll see.

So yea. Things they are great. I'm happy again. Which means I'm funny again even though ya'll haven't seen me much lately. Weird shit still happens all around me. So maybe I'll be back soon. And DAMN! I gotta change this template, this shit is not cool.

Peach out and all is well, ya'll

2008-01-24T15:23:00.000-05:00

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country

....edited to say.... that was friggin' cool - I just posted to my blog from Google Docs. Why didn't ya'll tell me about this before?? Huh? Huh? Dang! Maybe I can post again!

I Got a Baby!!!

2008-01-19T17:39:00.001-05:00

His name is Cody and I luff him already!

Peach out and house trainin' Ya'll (ok I'm not house training Ya'll, just Cody

Can I Just Say...

2008-01-07T21:44:00.000-05:00

If you are going to go to Lowe's on a Saturday afternoon, you should pick your fucking ear before you leave the damn house! Seriously people. It's one thing to pick your nose in the car. That's your domain, and if you're alone, fucking go for it, okay. But picking your ear in Lowe's with a tube of caulk then sticking it in your nose to either smell what you got out of your ear, or pick your nose too, is just fucking gross! Seriously, you make me want to hurl you red neck fucked up nose pickin' ear cleaning caulk ain't a q-tip mother fucker. Eeeewwww

It's not Thursday but What the hell!

If you drive down the same road every single day of your life because you live on or just off that road, PAY ATTENTION TO THE SPEED LIMIT! Seriously people. The road I live on has a speed limit of 55 MPH not 55 if your lucky, not 55 for some people, but 55 for everyone who ever drives on this road. It's the only road into the great metropolis of Hamilton, but the speed limit is still 55. I won't bitch at you if you do only 55. I will, however, flip you the fuck off if you do 20, 30, 35, 40, 45 or even 50 on this road. If it were possible, I'd have a fucking sign in mirror image on the top of my truck that flashes constantly "THE SPEED LIMIT ON THIS ROAD IS 55 MPH YOU STUPID FUCK". Fuckers - I want to go home quickly!

The asswipe that pulled up the b-e-a-utiful hardwood floors in my kitchen and replaced them with harvest fucking gold tile then patched over it and laid country fucking blue vinyl, here's a big fat FUCK YOU KISS MY ASS!!!

And finally. To the jerk off that thought it'd be cute to not put the lug nuts all the way tight (fuck ya'll I have my own language, you know what I mean) on my tire so that the hub I just replaced a year ago would fuck up at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning when I've had too much to drink and someone else is driving, can kiss my rosy red ass!

My week was great, how was yours?

Peach out and Tendinitis is a BITCH! ya'll

Small Issues

2007-12-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

So I've been here again and gone tomorrow alot lately, but I have a small issue I wanna run by you guys.

There's this chic see, and she's married and she's got a thing for H2. Before we were officially back together, he was diggin' her too. In the last 7 months, a couple things have happened that have caused me to be really cautious of ole girl because it seems that drama is a HUGE part of her life and she tries to bring us into her drama. She also obviously still has a thing for my man. Which I can handle most of the time. It's hard to avoid her all the time because her sister is one of my best friends, so occasionally she's around.

Friday night there were apparently little remarks made while we were all hanging out that I completely missed on a conscious level but on a subconscious level I apparently caught them because I apparently made remarks back that seemed to be all in good fun to everyone else. However. To H2, me and HER, it was speaking volumes. One example was when we were sitting at the table together Friday night, she was between me and H2. No biggy, I'm not like that. So, she says "Katie, you wanna sit by YOUR man?" And I said "No, that's ok, I get to sleep with him every night, you can sit by him for awhile" To which H2 laughed so hard I thought he'd hurt himself. I couldn't help it. It just came out. The only other thing I can remember saying that was maybe smart ass was when we were talking about Skid Row of 1980's fame when I told her to push her hair all in her face and show us what Sebastian Bach looked like. BUT. SHE was the one who said her hairdo was stuck in the 80's, NOT ME!

So my issue is, H2 called her on the way home (in his own truck) and asked her "What the fuck". I got a little pissed because why the fuck did he need to call her? I never thought any of it was a big deal until he felt a need to call her. He says they are just friends. And I believe him. And I trust him COMPLETELY! But. DAMN. She really gets me riled up when she's around and it pisses me off that she bothers me that much.

What do I do? I know, don't stoop to her level and shit, and H2 has found out things about her since this started that make him glad he chose me again instead of her. But fuck I'm so GD self conscious now because of what I did and the fact that I still don't think I deserve his forgiveness or his love that it makes me internally paranoid about this chic. And the worst part is, she's cool. I like her just fine except for all the damn drama and making me uncomfortable around my man. WTF?

Peach out and Merry Ho Ho Ho ya'll

The Stuff that Is

2007-11-24T15:00:00.000-05:00

Wow! Intentions being what they are, always good, I still haven't been very regular, have I? So the rambling continues....

I had a birthday the other day. Yep, I'm 36 - Yippee! I received as gifts, a really cool bathrobe from my honey, H2; a bottle of wine from my favorite couple on the planet, HLH; a Lexus from SMC (you fucking rock!) - and yes it's a matchbox Lexus; and a really cute piggy gnome (sp?) from the folks at work! You guys rock! Oh. And BOTH of my parents remembered my birthday and called me. That hasn't happened in 15 fucking years! It was a most excellent day!

Crackin' the hell out of pecans makes my thumbs hurt. But I have 5 pounds + of pecans shelled already and they didn't cost a damn dime because they came out of our yard.

How long should people be back together after being married for almost 5 years, together for 8 and divorced for 3 before they determine if they should get married again? I am so perfectly happy with my life right now and in no hurry to change anything but I am continuously conscious of the fact that H2 and I are not married anymore and it fucking sucks. I can totally feel the fact that my wedding band is gone on a daily constant basis. I'm not sure he'll ever want to marry me again and I can be ok with that. However, I can not be ok with him saying that he doesn't. And he hasn't, it's just the shit in my head. I'm supposed to be his wife. He is supposed to be my husband. And we're not and it's a weird little thing that hangs in my conscience continually.

Thanksgiving was great at H2's parent's house. I was in the kitchen making tea for everyone and had to re-orient myself with the location of glasses. Our niece came in and asked if I was lost, I said "For a minute, but I'm good now" H2's Mom walked in just as I said, "It's been awhile since I was here." H2's Mom said "Yeah, too damn long" I have really missed his family as much as I have missed him.

I have decided that while everyone else sticks with 29 as their eternal age, I'm keeping 35. While the year started out for shit, by the end of January, it was better with SFB moving out, great in April when the divorce was final and back to the wonderful life I am used to by May when H2 came home. I could not ask for a better year, better friends, or a better life. I am such a lucky little girl.

Peach out and thanks ya'll!

PS I hate this fucking template too, so damn!

Drunk Bloggin' At It's Finest

2007-11-12T19:26:00.000-05:00

It's Monday. I'm Drimll/ I'm ganna leav it taht way beause it's real. and that's wha I am. Rea;. We/ Or rather I stopped drinking Tequilat histime becuase DAMN! Ya. I mean Yeah! I should stop. Wow! I's Monday and it's 7:27 or 9 or 30 and I'm drunk. We went camping and it was, as always, a blast! Only I didnt' fish this time, I drank insteanad. And tath was fun. Cause GO DAWGS! It is a house divided here, he's August, I mean Aub urn, and I'm Georiga and Georgia spanked tjat ass!! ha ha ha ha.

Damnedest think. Got up this morning when H2 was leaving for work and we all know if your man is leaving for work you can;t skeeo late, you gotta get up and known everything what's going on, so H 2 gets up and he's leaving for work and I here how we've caught a mouse, (cause wel ive in the country and the mouses they come in side when it's cold,) but only it wasn't a mouse, it was something else. Much bgger. It was a dear. Deer. She was all cute and everything. Only now she's getting made into dinner. Cause she ran head first into our fence and broke her neck. So. What's the thing to do? We tak her to The Deer Place (and that really is the name of it( To get her processed. Because she' Commmited sideways in our yard on our fence. So she becomes dinner. goptta go, dinner's ready, macaroni and turkey ya'll!

Peach our and But lite. Ya'll

Nanny Nanny

2007-11-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm a Nanny and we had The Kid (our grandson) last weekend but you can't hear about that just yet cause I'm going camping. Jealous much?

Peach out and tents ya'll

Parties, Camping and Katie's Ramblin' Again

2007-10-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

Halloween. Yea. For kids. Notsomuch. We went to a party last night at one of our friends' house. (Proper grammar?) Had.A.Blast. Me and H2 both dressed up. I was a spider ghost. WTF? I have no idea what the hell that is, but it was creepy. Folks didn't know who we were until we spoke, which is funny as hell to me. We sat on the swing on the back porch quietly as everyone we knew arrived and walked in, looked directly at us and kept going. Then we went outside where everyone was gathered and slowly, we were recognized. One of our chic friends looked a little pissed when I hugged her man until she realized it was me. Ha! It was a blast. I got drunk as hell.

So drunk in fact, it brought back to mind the story of me and H2 in the early years when we were out drinking with my Mom. I have no idea how the hell I made it home that night. Except that I drove and I covered one eye to get there. I told H2 last night that if I had to drive last night, it would have been one of those nights. Which means, 11 years later, and alot smarter, we would have stayed the night. It's a good thing H2 is so good at judging my alcohol consumption, he knows when to quit because Katie's had too much.

Another story. When on our camping trip last week, I was feeling just the right buzz when I decided to go to bed. I turned in for the night and was feeling really good. Right about the time I laid down, H2 says, in his best pirate voice: "Argh, Where's me shovel?". Now I'm not sure why, but that shit made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath. The funny thing is there are so many of us that go on this trip, no one really pays attention to when everyone wonders off to bed. So, no one knew how long I had been in our tent, but they knew that I was laughing uncontrollably and couldn't figure out why. I could hear everyone saying "What the hell is Katie laughing at?" "Is she in there by herself?" "Katie, what are you doing?" "Do we want to know?" "What the hell is so funny?" None of which were questions I could answer because I was laughing so hard, I was crying. Finally, all I could get out was "Argh" and started laughing uncontrollably again. This was apparently hilarious to everyone else and they joined in, which, of course,just made me laugh harder. It's a good thing I'd already peed. I told H2 I need water because my throat was so dry, he brought some in and again says "Argh,where's me shovel?". Now I'm snorting and there's tears pouring out of my eyes, all the guys around the camp fire were rolling! For the next hour there were faint sounds of me giggling in the background.

Peach out ya'll and life is SO good...

Ignorance Can Be Fixed, Stupid Goes Straight to the Bone - The Story

2007-10-22T18:06:00.000-05:00

Since I left this loverly place, there have been additions to the CU family. One is wonderful, learns quickly and is catching on like a champ. The other, notsomuch. Ole Girl used to be a nurse. Although I'm starting to worry alot about her patients and whether they are still around. Let's see if I can share with you the enormity of the stupidity we're talking about.

Conversation 1:

OG: "This buffet is a low-carb dieter's dream" As she scarfs down battered and fried fish, Ribs with red sauce and macaroni salad. Yep

Me: "Notsomuch hon, all that breading, not low carb"

OG: "There's a difference between low carb and fried, Katie"

Me: (Internally) Yea, there is, and what you got there is neither dumbass

Conversation 2: (Moments after VP has left the room after telling us he'll be in meetings all day)

OG: "Where's VP?"

Me: **Crickets**

Moments later...

OG: "I wonder where VP went"

Me: **Crickets**

And my favorite Conversation 3:

Me: "OG, I called your Member and told them you were with a disabled couple and couldn't make it to their closing, they understood and said thanks for everything"

OG: Calling Member (as she should) to make sure all went well "Sorry I couldn't make it. I was with a Deaf and Dumb couple for the last 3 hours!!!"

Me: (to my assistant) "I'm gonna leave for a little while, I'll be back shortly"

OH MY GOD Can you believe this former "Nurse"? I'm so scared for her patients I feel an urge to call her last hospital and check the status of their well being.

I bet we go through the Where's VP? conversation daily. And it's always right after he's left and told us where he's going. Today was perfect OG style: "I don't know why Assistant gave me that call, that's your Member, Good New Guy". Mmmmm, let's see, because you met with him Friday while GNG was busy and by the way you didn't get anything signed all you did was take down his information and make GNG look like a dumbass for not getting disclosures. Yea. These are the days of my life.

People, I'm telling you, this chic gives new meaning to the phrase "Dumb as a Bucket of Hair". I'm not kidding! There are secret emails that go around between me, another LO and my buddy in HR. HR friend is waiting on the day she pushes me over the edge. But. VP has taught me to keep my cool. In the meantime, pray for this chic, or whatever your little good hopes and wishes come from, do it, she fucking needs it in a major way. I am sure there are other more ridiculous things that have happened but I'm ready to eat and H2 just brought dinner in. Plus. My Screwdriver is getting warm.

Peach out and DUMBASS galore, ya'll!

Ahhhh Days Off

2007-10-18T17:11:00.000-05:00

Jealous much? I'm off today and tomorrow and I'm going camping - insert full version of Nanny Nanny Boo Boo here - he he he. I did have to go in to the CU (Credit Union) today for a meeting. VP dropped a bombshell yesterday. He's leaving. No idea where not even sure when but it sounds like he'll be with us til the end of the year. We are being absorbed by another department and will be Managed by the current Sales Manager. That's cool with me. It's a little scary and I made VP sweat over night. I wouldn't talk to him after the meeting yesterday. But. I came in today even though I was off, because I felt I should be there for this meeting. It's going to be fine. Things shouldn't change much and the goals for our department should stay the same for the most part. At least for awhile. The long term is the same, we hope to be closing and servicing loans ourselves in the future.

My problem is this. VP really put his neck out there to hire me because he thought I was good. (And well...) He went to bat for me and helped me out alot. It's going to be odd without him there. My loyalties are different than most, CU,VP then Department. I really hope he finds what it is he's looking for and I'm scared for him taking such a gigantic leap of Faith, but VP is VP he'll come out on top because he's great at what he does and people aren't afraid to follow him. I wish him all the best and can't wait to hear what new fantastic career path he finds wherever he goes.

In the meantime, I'll continue to be the peon and see where that takes me. If I have to, I can always transfer to another Department later, although mortgages is my baby.

Still waiting for H2's position to be declared an upgrade with the City, so I'm still working at the Bar. It's been a long week, off 2 days and I still had 40 hours in by Wednesday.

Got alot accomplished today though - nails, cleaned my truck, did some laundry, changed my name at the SS office. Now, it's beer thirty and H2 is in the shower getting ready to go. It's my night out you see, so we're going to have a few beers before the relaxation fest begins. Surely there will be pictures galore when we return. I'll be gone a couple days trying my best to find some fish in the dry ass rivers around here - cross your fingers, I can't stand to go fishing and not catch anything. If that happens, I assure you there will be tails of drunkeness and singing and the like when I come back. Otherwise, if I do catch anything, there will be fish tales out the wazoo!!!

Oh yea - Cassee, Ann, I missed you guys, I'll be stopping by your places soon!

Peach out and no shower for 3 days ya'll!

Yeah. So.....

2007-10-14T11:04:00.000-05:00

The catching up of the stuff. Been gone awhile, right, so things have happened. As much as I thought it never would, some wonderful things are going on. Last time I posted on the other site I was updating on H2 (Husband 2) coming back to town. I left him and married SFB (Shit For Brains/Stupid Fucking Bastard). Without rehashing the entire story, I fucked things up but good. We were married for almost 5 years, together a total of 8 and happy on a level most people don't get to see. We were comfortable and he was confident I knew he loved me more than life. I was not so confident. It turns out that despite my insistence on not being a girl in the typical show me attention, make me the center of the universe in a whiny kind of way. Deep down, the attention is something I needed. Someone else showed me that attention at what turned out to be a very high price. I lost the only person who every truly made me happy and I lost more respect for myself that I'd ever care to admit. Now. Things are different....

H2 had moved to Texas 14 months before all the drama with SFB finally came to an end. Through a couple of emails and my best friend, we started communicating again. And eventually in a way we should have communicated three years ago. H2 was not happy in Texas and was moving back to Georgia. I offered a place to stay, spare bedroom, and he took me up on the offer. The truth being what it is, we are both very much still in love and once again, after some shaky weeks, back together. I plan to grow old with this man and make up for everything I may have ever done to hurt him. He loves me unconditionally and despite my choices in our relationship is wonderful enough to give us another shot. I am a very very very lucky young lady. And so fucking happy it usually makes people want to hurl. All I can say is I hope everyone gets to be this happy in their lives.

And in other news...The Boy (my son) is about to graduate from high school and I'm not taking it so well. I have melted into a puddle of girl by crying about his being so grown and wonderful on more than one occasion since school started this year. Look at my little baby:

I know, not so little right? He's 6'4" and not sure he's done growing. Basketball season starts again soon and he went to Prom in April and he's had the same girlfriend for 2 years and the same job for 3 and I couldn't be more proud!

There's stupid shit that goes on at work constantly, but I love my job. Lots of charity work going on and I'm still working at the bar part time. I hope to quit when H2 goes back to work for the City. Our friends are wonderful and loved and missed us both. Everyone is happy that we are a couple again.

We've got our annual camping trip this weekend and I can not wait to go fishing! I'll have pictures I'm sure. Although, I'll have to use H2's camera since I left mine in the yard last week to get rained on. NICE. H2 is in Texas for a couple days to pick up his Mom and bring her home. I miss him already and he just left this morning. I have work til Wednesday then I'm off for the trip. Tomorrow, I'll get back to "Ignorance Can Be Taught, Stupid goes straight to the Bone". I'm sure the donor of that story is bound to donate more tomorrow.

By the way....I missed you too Ann! I"ll be checking in with all my buddies over the next few days, but don't look for me on Tues and Wed cause that's when I work at night. Glad to be back.

Peach out and Happy ya'll!

Ignorance Can Be Fixed, Stupid Goes Straight to the Bone

2007-10-11T18:03:00.000-05:00

First, wassup - been awhile since I've used this site - the other is gone, vanished not to return. So it is here that I return. Home Sweet Home.

So. Yeah. I have so fucking much to catch up on. And the really funny (I must say) Title of this post will have to follow. I will do a little Edited to Add line later. Or tomorrow, but yo' - come back ya'll. I got tons of funny again and I missed ya'll!

Peach out!

The Binge and Purge

2007-02-24T15:03:00.000-05:00

But first....why the hell is it that I've been outside for 2 hours and no one has ridden by and honked the horn, but I've been inside for a total of 10 minutes and 3 fucking people have honked since I've been inside?

Ok first. The Binge. I had to tolerate SFB (new name for LOML if you didn't know, translates to 'Shit For Brains') for an entire day on what I believe was Thursday but could have been Wednesday. I don't really know because there was a lot of Lorcet involved.

Work had the annual Members Board Meeting Tuesday. This translates to everyone who is a member gets to come and see what we're doing and make any compliments/suggestions/complaints about things. I lasted an entire 20 minutes. This includes time it took for me to get there, walk to the meeting room, wait 5 minutes for my coworkers to show, find the VP of my department and walk back to my truck with someone holding me up. It appears, my dear friends, that I have experienced a Kidney stone. I don't know if it should be capitalized but let me tell you, it SHOULD be capitalized. If anyone has ever told you it's the only comparison a man has to child birth, they are correct. PLUS I promise you it is a helluva lot worse. I was at the hospital for 6 hours. I was given 2 shots of Demerol (also requires capitalization), a little Finnegan (not sure on the spelling of that one, but it too is capitalized). I'm pretty sure my Dad, my Son, my nurse, my doctor and the XRay tech all saw my ass and my tits, which were pretty nice cause I had on that fancy bra, ya know. Things were great. After the drugs, of course. Until I woke up and Pop told me SFB called and he was pissed no one called him. Sorry, I don't think crack is considered a painkiller. Anyway, my Daddy, being the wise man he is, told SFB he couldn't tell him if it was ok to come up there, that was up to me and I was unconscious. So yea, on Demerol I considered he was pretty upset with me in the hospital and said it was ok. Plus, I didn't know if I could leave a vehicle and pick up a prescription and I did know my son wouldn't be allowed to pick up Lorcet for me if I couldn't.

He came, he helped, he took me to get my prescription. He dropped me off and away he went. Over you say? Notsomuch. Wednesday was spent in a drug induced stupor because of the fucking pain a 2.4 mm Kidney stone causes. Fucking little rocks. I think he stopped by to check on me Wednesday. I know he called.

Thursday. He called, right as my pain medicine was wearing off because I didn't take it early enough for the pain not to hit me first, and insisted on taking me to the doctor. (Surprise, excuse to miss work at his new job, 3 days after he started) So I let him cause DAMN I was hurting bad. Doc says it'll pass, bring it in when it does, gave a new Rx and I went home. Hoping to sleep the day away again. Which I did. But I woke to the nightmare of him being here the whole fucking day. Finally at like 9:00 he asked if he could stay and I said no. He asked why. Here's where I laugh now....."Cause I discovered I like to sleep diagonally on my bed". Yeah, he left in a huff after I thanked him profusely for helping me.

Yesterday I returned to work at the shock and awe of my coworkers. That's another post in itself. He called to check on me. He didn't call again until 10:30 last night when I pissed him off because I said he sounded drunk. He said I needed to quit assuming he was drunk or high all the time. ****chirping****

So. He left me alone after he banged on my door for 10 minutes and I wouldn't let him in. He called this morning and said we'd be able to settle this whole thing alot quicker if I'd quit calling him a dopehead and a drunk. My response? "Why do I think that's what you are SFB?" His? "Because that's what I've shown you for 3 years Katie, but I'm not like that anymore." Yeah. Ok. So. You had a drug problem for 15 years, the whole last 3 years with me has been a lie and now you were able to just quit cold turkey. Ok. Way I see it, either he did have a drug problem and he's still doing drugs but no one can prove it. (Remember he left the hospital before the test results came back on the piss test) Oooorrrrrrr. He lied about doing drugs to excuse his behavior thinking I'd accept he excuse and take him back. Mmmmkay.

The Purge. The only thing that remains in my possession that belongs to the stupid fuck is the tools in the shed. As I type this message, I am taking a break from removing it from my shed. It is now on my patio, stacked neatly for easy removal. I called him, and informed him he has one week to remove his possessions from my property. If by Saturday at 3 p.m. he has not done so, I will dispose of these items as I see fit.

Didn't file for the divorce last week financial matters being what they are. So. I am going back to the courthouse on the 5th (scheduled doctors appts and such) and I will file then. I swear I will scan and post the filed docs when I return. If I have to call in every favor from every public official I know to get it done, I will be divorced by April.

Hang in there...I've got more stories and less Lorcet, I could be posting daily again before you know it. Missed ya'll. Glad to be back. And a special shout out (oh my god can you tell how white I am?) to my girl Denise who's becoming the greatest Internet friend a chic could have, she's stuck by me with the SFB shit supportive and helping me move this joint to a new place soon.

Peach out and Bud Light ya'll!

FOAD Thursday

2006-10-19T15:04:00.000-05:00

This is where I was going to post a raging little diddy about the dumbasses in our satellite offices. I was going to say how if you worked in a satellite office and don't know how to do your job, you are eventually going to piss everyone off in the main office when they have to pick up your slack. I was going to say how you were hired for a satellite office under the impression that you could handle the pressure of being alone in that office doing a quarter of the work everyone else does without a problem.

I was going to say how if you don't send your recording out FOR THREE MONTHS and you don't send your checks out FOR THREE MONTHS, eventually folks will catch on. And I was going to point out to you that if you don't send your recording out for THREE MONTHS, you will eventually cause the firm to be fined $100 per day until it is recorded and that money will probably come out of your last paycheck. And I was going to mention that maybe the attorney you work for might want to be paid. But since you haven't sent your fee checks in, he hasn't. That means the numbers for your office for THREE MONTHS have been $0.00. Which also means that if any of your clients checks bounced, your attorney now OWES the firm money, instead of getting a paycheck.

I was going to suggest you take that interview suit out of the closet dear child and start using your lunch breaks to go on interviews. I might event mention that when you do get a job at Target, don't tell them you're qualified for cashier when all you can really do is shoes.

I was going to be nice and mention this. But I'm pretty sure if I did, I'd get fired. So. I'm Not. And. Well, we'll see ya at the Christmas Party hon. Or not. Who really knows????

kthanxbye

Peach out ya'll

Smacked by the Minx, Merciless Minx that is

2006-09-29T14:43:00.000-05:00

Sweet! Check it: I Talk 2 Much

I submitted awhile back for a review and I’ve been sweatin’ it ever since! But the reviews are in and I got four, count ‘em, go, COUNT.THEM. It's My Review Ya'll four smacks outta five! I happy gurrrll!

Oh. And I’m not a retard – thanks Avi. And a great big THANK YOU HONEY to D over at Delite Designs, she did my template for me when she was doing a give a away not too long ago and did a fan fucking tastic job I must say – go – see her – get a new design at your place. It’s official De – You RAWK!

With that note ya’ll, I am going on vacation. I ain’t promisin’ no posts cause I plan on drinking the week away on a chicken farm in N.C. Yes. An honest to goodness chicken farm. I’m SURE to have some good stories from this one! Have fun while I’m away, keep it straight, play nice and if I don’t see ya before Easter hide your own damn eggs! (ok I’m kidding, I’ll be back before Easter, hell I’ll be back before Halloween. Wwwaaaaayyy before Halloween.) I’m gone miss ya’ll! See ya soon!

Peach out ya’ll!

FOAD Thursday

2006-09-28T16:36:00.000-05:00

To the Seller’s who just can’t make their house payment and get all pissy with everyone like it’s someone else’s fault you didn’t pay your fucking mortgage.

Dude. Seriously. Let’s go over the facts ok?

1. It is no one’s fault but your own that your house will be foreclosed on Monday. NOONES.

2. Your Realtor (and I’ll be the last one to take up for them) has already cut his commission in half. Now you say you can’t pay him either.

3. He’s a nice guy, trying hard to get this house sold, even if it means he doesn’t get paid because his client REALLY wants to buy your piece of shit house.

4. How do I know it’s a piece of shit house? You are $8 Grand behind in interest alone. Including fees and costs, your payoff is $20K more than it should be. So I can only imagine how you “kept it up”

5. I know from the nice realtor that your living room is bright orange, hi-gloss paint. Now my living room is orange, but my shit is not bright and it is not hi-fucking-gloss.

6. I also know that your fucking dining room is royal blue and fucking gold. Seriously dude. Come the fuck on!

7. I also know that you are getting $195k for a piece of shit house. Damn dude. Just damn.

8. You are signing a Promissory Note with NO collateral for the Realtor to get his commission. He knows he’s probably never going to get paid. If your ass didn’t make your payment for at least 3 months before getting foreclosed on, how can this poor guy expect to get you to pay an unsecured debt to him?

Now looky here, I’m the first to admit sometimes things get rough and a bill or two gets put off, but this jerk is getting money from the realtor, the lender and the buyer to sell his piece of shit house. If it was me, I’d let that shit get foreclosed on just because he painted the fucking dining room royal blue and gold. HI-FUCKING-GLOSS.

Peach out ya’ll!

A Box Full of Memories

2006-09-13T09:16:00.000-05:00

Dad called last night to check on me and see if he could borrow my shower. Some problem with the well at their house and he didn't want to go to my step-sister's house. She's alot like her mom, the Step Monster. Dad doesn't care for her much, the feeling is mutual. I understand why. She's a bitch, does things like invites her Mom over for family functions but Dad's not invited. Bitch.

Anyhow, Dad's been telling me he had some pictures he wanted to give me. He said they were things my Nanny left for him when she died last April. The Family divided up pics by the children and gave each of them the pics of their own families and shared some pics of my Nanny and my Grandma and Grandpa H (my Great Grandparents). Dad said he'd just leave them in a box and they'd sit there until he dies and then I'd get them anyway, so he wanted me to have them now. He says he knows I'll display them or put them in albums. Which I will. I asked him if he had the boxes at his house, he could bring them with him. He had one of the boxes. He brought it.

The box he brought hit me with memories the minute he walked into the door. First because it was sitting on top of my Grandma H's metal bread box that he was also giving to me. Second, the box/bag itself was a blast from the past. My Nanny, being a hard working woman in retail, always wore S.A.S. shoes. The box the memories were in was an S.A.S. box. The box was in an S.A.S. bag......

WOW! First, the bread box. Every Sunday we'd go to Grandma H's and have dinner. We'd get there after church and she'd have made biscuits that morning that she'd put in the bread box until we got there. When we arrived, she'd fry some link sausage, which HAD to be from Union Springs, Alabama. She wouldn't eat any other kind, they make it fresh, the old fashioned way down there, the way her Daddy taught her to make it. And it really was the best. So we'd have cold biscuits with link sausage to snack on until dinner was ready. It ALWAYS included rutabagas, squash, greens and peas of some sort and of course, streak of lean to season with. Ahh, Sunday at Grandma H's. I miss her. She passed when I was about 12 or so, Grandpa H died before I was born.

And then there's the box. This little shoe box just looks like a shoe box to most. To me, it's memories of my life as a child. I've never had pictures or memorabilia of when I was a child. My Mom never really was that good at keeping things. She's lost everything she had several times by having to move or getting evicted. I always wondered if Dad had anything of me as a child because he moved alot too, but not like Mom. Turns out, my Nanny had it all! Dad was her unspoken favorite. The whole family knew it. That's how I ended up with Grandma H's bedroom suite. Dad says that while it means alot to him, it means more for me to have it because he knows I'll cherish it and he never knows where he's gonna be these days.

What's in the box you ask? Well, let me tell ya, it's chock full of prizes I never expected: I have pictures of Grandma and Grandpa H from before my Nanny was born, the picture is dated on the back, 1922. My Nanny was born in 1927. I have pictures of her in 1945, when she was 18, pictures of her and my Granddad when he was in the Army still, pictures of my Dad as a toddler, and all the way up until the mid 80's (from there, I already had pics of my own, at my graduation and such) I have newspaper clippings from when my Dad was on the 12 year old basket ball team at the boy's club, when he was awarded Top Sales Associate for Tom's for 2 consecutive years, pics of my son in the newspaper when he was 3 at the pumpkin patch, a clipping of me and my little sister at a Columbus Astros game sharing fries, it goes on and on and on.

What are my favs? The black and white picture of me and Dad when I was about 2 that I was always broken hearted not to have, I have it now. My Dad's report cards and diploma, shot records, my very own original birth certificate and shot records. Originals. My Nanny kept this stuff for 34 years! I suppose that's what Nanny's do, huh? And then Dad, being Dad. Says he has something he's tired of carrying around for me and hands me an envelope. Inside the envelope is a blond pigtail, rubber band still holding the almost white strands together. It's the pigtail from my first haircut. I cried when I realized they had all these memories they were saving to give to me one day. Tears of joy in the middle of a part of my life that is so sad these days. I could not be happier right now and I could not be more proud to hold onto this box of memories to give to my son when he doesn't think I looked funny and he's old enough to wonder what I was like when I wore that ballerina outfit.

Oh! There is an old bracelet box that has charms in it, with little pics of my sisters. I was older, so they didn't really do those when I was a baby. But in the corner, shiny and different from the others, were two more charms. They are silver and about the same size. One has the silhouette of a girl with a ponytail. The other has a silhouette of a boy. (Which is confusing cause Dad only had girls). But then I turned them over. The girl is mine. It has my real name and my date of birth on it. The other is my Dad. With his name and date of birth. I'm going, as soon as I have a little cash, to buy a silver chain to put these charms on and I will wear them every day. I am so happy right now, I almost feel guilty for letting this sunshine into my life during a trying time. Almost.

Peace is among us ya'll.

100th Post! An Ode to Me

2006-08-31T09:51:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, can you believe it? I'm not going into any crazy, expected declaration about what my blog means to me. I'm not going to go on and on about how my blog friends make my life complete. Fuck that! It's what EVERYONE DOES. And so is this:

For my 100th post, I'll be giving you 100 parts of Katie. Why? You may ask, bored, lazy, tired, un-creative today. Pick which ever reason you like. So here it is:

1. I was 19 years old when my son was born.

2. Yes, that makes me 35 this year (not yet though, so shaddup)

3. I was 5 months pregnant when I married his Dad (MI - my idiot)

4. I have worked for attorneys since I was 19.

5. Except when I quit to bartend at a beer and wine bar in the shady side of town for 3 years.

6. I loved bartending.

7. I came back to attorneys for financial security.

8. I have a very low tolerance for stupid people.

9. Not ignorant people, they can’t help it.

10. I love love what I do

11. I am a real estate paralegal.

12. But I deal with a lot of stupid people.

13. I have never had a cast.

14. But I broke my tail bone once.

15. I have never been “alone” for any length of time.

16. I wish now that I had been for awhile.

17. I am a Republican.

18. I don’t talk politics a lot.

19. But I volunteered every election day in our election office for 8 years.

20. I’m not a girly girl.

21. Last year I bought my first pink shirt.

22. I prefer plaid shirts and jeans.

23. I think I was born into the wrong family.

24. These people I’m related to are pretty screwed up.

25. I refer to myself as “the Good Kid”

26. My sisters agree with me, but think it’s funny that I’m Good.

27. I am married to my 3rd husband.

28. He is the Love of My Life.

29. But I don’t always like him a whole lot. (hello, read my blog?)

30. I can count my girlfriends on ½ of one hand.

31. I don’t talk to anyone I went to highschool with.

32. I didn’t talk to many people when I was there.

33. I carry a knife in my pocket at all times.

34. Unless I’m not wearing pants with pockets. Then it’s in my purse.

35. I hate carrying a purse.

36. My new check book cover means I can retire my purse again.

37. I have been a smoker for 21 years.

38. Yes, I was 13 when I started.

39. My little sister taught me how.

40. I despise everything shopping unless it’s Lowe’s or Home Depot for my house.

41. I have remodeled every house I ever owned (3), mostly cosmetic stuff.

42. I hate a house with white walls and no character.

43. I just painted my living room orange and pulled up the country blue carpet.

44. I still have country blue carpet in my bedroom.

45. I’m running behind on this house.

46. I blog from work.

47. NEVER from home.

48. My husband doesn’t know about my blog.

49. I get nervous when he’s on the computer because I know if he Google’s scrambled dog, he could find this blog.

50. He wouldn’t like it much.

51. Only 2 people I know in “real life” know I’m here.

52. Only they don’t know where here is.

53. They are the two girlfriends I could count on ½ a hand.

54. I have lost friends because I married LOML.

55. I think I resent him for it a little, but really it’s my fault.

56. I have had my heart broken.

57. I have been in love twice.

58. I only married one of the men I was in love with. (LOML)

59. I have been terrified.

60. I am scared of bad weather.

61. For all my toughness, I will cry like a baby during a storm. Xanax helps.

62. I have 5 tattoos. If you ask where, I will show them.

63. None of them are in obscene places.

64. I would get as many as I could without looking freakish when I’m at work.

65. I have only ever covered one of my tattoos up for work.

66. I only worked there one day.

67. This is harder than I thought it would be.

68. I’m trying to sound interesting.

69. But I don’t think I am.

70. I will say just about anything, just about any time.

71. For that reason, my husband worries a little when we’re in public and get bad service.

72. He thinks I don’t tip enough.

73. But I tip very well unless the service sucks.

74. I have to work for my money, they should too.

75. It takes a lot to make me think I’ve had “bad service”.

76. I don’t dream of winning the lottery.

77. I don’t even play.

78. I dream of falling into enough money to payoff my house and my truck so that I can live off what I work for every month.

79. My house and my truck are my only debts.

80. I don’t do credit cards.

81. Probably because I don’t like to shop.

82. Especially for groceries.

83. I HATE GROCERY STORES.

84. My second job was in a grocery store.

85. My first was a BBQ joint.

86. I quit college because I was pregnant.

87. Never went back.

88. I don’t regret it really. I think I’ve done just fine without it.

89. I expect my son to go to college. AND FINISH WITH HONORS.

90. He deserves more than what I settled for.

91. I miss my baby puppy Bailey.

92. She was a gift from Husband #2.

93. She died 3 years ago.

94. I have a picture of her and The Boy on my desk.

95. LOML is the only man who has ever sent me flowers.

96. I cried when I got them the first time.

97. People think I’m good at my job.

98. Because I’m lazy, I do things the easy way and finish quickly, they think it’s because I’m prepared.

99. I am usually prepared.

100. I was not prepared for LOML.

THEY DID IT! CONGRATS BOYS!

2006-08-29T07:28:00.000-05:00

I know I give up a piece of my anonymity with this post, but I don't care!

Last night, when the pitcher hit the next to the last batter with the ball, he went over to him on his way to first base and apologized. Right in the middle of the last at bat of the game. THAT shows class and Southern charm like anything else I've ever seen! These boys will be coming home to a heros welcome, because Southerner's are just like that - we're proud of our children!

WORLD CHAMPS

Direct to You

2006-08-28T13:45:00.000-05:00

From Hell......LIVE - It's Katie - from the 7th Circle. Brought to you by Buck Ice, never touched by human hands!

Yeah, so it's the end of the month here in Hell. SLS is gone, living in her own little circle of Satellite Office Hell. I'm coming to you from the 7th Circle of Hell, the main office, where there are back to back real estate purchases every half hour for the NEXT.FOUR.DAYS.

This message may be garbled, I could disappear at any time! But stay tuned, I could be back in bits and pieces here and there. Literally.

You really never know what could happen here, in the 7th C - tempers could blow, people could spontaneously combust, Buyers could walk out on the deal, Sellers just might tell someone to shove it up their asses. It's a wild world, 7th C is. But hang in there folks, I'll be broadcasting from time to time with updates on the situation. That is if the heat in this motha don't melt the equipment!

Stay tuned, more to come, surely.

Peace out ya'll.

Oh yea - go Northern Little League - thems our boys out there ya'll - that's my home town! Josh, JT, Brady, Kyle, all the guys, we're pullin' for ya! Can't wait til you come home with the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!

Peace.

There could be an explosion!

2006-08-25T14:49:00.000-05:00

And it would be my sweet little supervisor's head. I call her little cause, well, she is. But damned if I don't think she's gonna blow, what with dynamite in little packages and all.

Here's the dealio - Bosslady won't say no to anyone. So if you call our office at the end of the month and ask for an appointment, she'll stay until 9:00 closing loans and will close one on every half hour. Problem is, one of our satellite offices doesn't have an assistant right now so my supervisor is having to go back and forth 30 miles each way to close the loans up there. Asshat in that office won't stop making appointments 4 and 6 in a day when he knows how busy we are down here, yet he also won't get off his ass and approve someone to be hired to help him.

Now, at the end of the month, I would say we have about 60 closings in my office alone. He's scheduled several for his office and now SLS has to go up there on the busiest day of the month. SHE'S PISSED. Then to top it all off, Bosslady keeps scheduling more for us, but won't distribute SLS's files since she won't be here.

SLS just asked her if she was trying to get us to all walk out on her! I probably won't walk out, but I'll be really disappointed if there's not a fat juicy bonus at the end of this hell month! Keep your fingers crossed, maybe I won't get caught in the crossfire.

Peace out ya'll!

Something About Katie

2006-08-23T11:51:00.000-05:00

When I was younger, for some reason, I will blame faster Metabolism just for science sake, I could eat whatever I want. Somewhere along the lines, as I got older, my good ole Metabolism must have slowed down. When I was married to the Ex (#2) I got up to 165 pounds. That doesn't sound like alot to me right now because I'm back to 155. There are things I know I could do to slim down. I'd really like to be back at the 140 - 145 range. And if possible I'd like to keep the TNA that I've acquired in the gaining of the weight. Here's a list of what and why I don't do them.

Watch what I eat. Why not? I'm lazy and I can't control my food. That's not true, I could, if I tried, I'm just lazy so I won't prepare a new menu for myself.

Watch what I drink. I LOVE Coca Cola and Bud Light. This does not help.At.All.

Exercise. I could walk at night. I'm lazy. I don't do it.

Exercise. I could work out on my $700 work bench. I don't do it. I'm lazy.

I could not stay on the couch immediately after dinner. But I don't do it. It's comfy there. There is a spot that perfectly fits my fat ass.

Anyone see a pattern? I'm lazy. Not slothlike, not won't do what needs to be done around the house, work or anything else. Just won't get off my ass and try harder to lose a few pounds.

Most people tell me I'm not fat. They say I'm not even "big boned". I am 5'9" and I weigh 155 pounds. I am still within my ideal weight chart thingy, but DAMN I'd like to lose this gut. But that would involve exercise. Situps even. My.Fat.Ass. I'm just too lazy.

However, now that I'm in a size 12, I do refuse to go any higher. I'm starting to see the need to be not so lazy and stop drinking sodas and eat more salads, maybe even walk a little and do a situp or two. But. I do long for the days when I was slim no matter what I ate. And of course I still blame baby fat, even though my baby is 16 years old. Wonder how much longer I could get away with that?

Peace out ya'll.

The Rage, It Grows

2006-08-17T09:47:00.000-05:00

Ok. All week I've been going on about The Boy. Well see, now someone has pissed me off about him. Here's the thing. I got a crazy Mama and she's starting to piss me off more. She's all pissed at me because I told my sister, Drafty, that her son would be respectful in our house or he had to go. So since it's easier to let him run over her, they all moved. I've been on the shit side of the family ever since.

It doesn't matter that I let my niece and nephew live with us for a year while no one else in the family would/could. It doesn't matter that she had been out of prison for 5 months when I finally said ENOUGH! I just became the Queen of Bitches for taking my life back. I knew when it happened that I would be ignored and cast aside again. I'm perfectly fine with that. I have enough shit of my own without taking on everyone else's drama. But now, I'm done with them all.

Not a single person in my family called to tell my son happy birthday yesterday. None of the 3D's, NOT EVEN MY MOM! So I called her just now to let her know how much appreciated her disregard for her first born grandchild's 16th birthday. Went a little something like this:

K: I know you're all busy raising everyone else's kids and all but I think your oldest grandson who just had an important birthday at least deserved a telephone call.

Mom: Weellll, I know. But he was in school all day and by the time he got out, I was so busy with (insert any of my sister's childrens names here)

This is where I cut her off:

K: Well, if you ever called him or saw him, or paid attention to the damn news, you'd know that he doesn't start school until the 19th!

Mom: Well, I got busy and forgot having to deal with (insert an of my sister's childrens names here).....

I cut her off again:

K: Yeah, I know how it is. Everyone else's kids are more important than me and my family. Thanks Mom!

So right now, Xanax would be good but all I got is a Goody. And I'm shaking.

Normal mother wanted: requirements only include calling every now and again, maybe I'll even buy you lunch if you'll break away from everyone else and give me an hour. Once a year phone calls for birthdays to my son.

Peace out ya'll.

And So.

2006-08-16T15:36:00.000-05:00

The Boy got his license today. It's a new door. Everything from here on is all grown up stuff. Man it doesn't seem right.

Otherwise, today, this is what I'm feeling and I'll have more details tomorrow. Maybe. Decisions are being made, ultimatums have been given and papers have been dusted off for signing. This seems appropriate. If anyone knows Matchbox 20, you know why the sound of this song is in my head today. Sorry for the lazy post of lyrics, but I can't get it out of my mind. Maybe this will help:

Hang

She grabs her magazines
She packs her things and she goes
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall, she burns all her notes
And she knows She's been here too few years to feel this old

He smokes his cigarette, he stays outside 'till it's gone
If anybody ever had a heart, he wouldn't be alone
He knows, she's been here too few years, to be gone

And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you I'll just hang

The trouble understand, is she got reasons he don't
Funny how he couldn't see at all, 'til she grabbed up her coat
And she goes. She's been here too few years to take it all in stride
But still it's much too long, to let hurt go (you let her go)

And we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you I'll just hang
The same for you
I'll always hang

Well I always say, it would be good to go away
But if things don't work out like we think
And there's nothing there to ease this ache
But if there's nothing there to make things change
If it's the same for you, I'll just hang

Peace out ya'll.

One.More.Day.

2006-08-15T16:17:00.000-05:00

My Baby

Tomorrow.Sigh.*tears*.Wow.

Yesterday, on the way home, The Boy and I had this conversation:

The Boy "Mom"

Katie "Yes Boo?"

The Boy "Mom, you're worried aren't you?"

Katie "About what?"

The Boy "My birthday is two days away and you don't want it to come."

Katie "One, no, I don't, I want you to be my baby forever. Two, I am excited for you, but nervous at the same time."

The Boy "Mom, I'll be careful, I promise."

Katie "I know you will, it's the other drivers out there I worry about more, you're a good driver, but not everyone is."

The Boy "Mom, I'll look out for them too."

Told you I'd be sappy all week.

Monday. Yea.

2006-08-14T13:25:00.000-05:00

School clothes, doctors appointments, bank accounts, new trucks, oh my!

The Boy called yesterday from work. "Moma", he says, "I was all excited when I got paid because I had so much money. Then I remembered I still have to go buy school clothes." What is it about my wonderful child that makes him think that just because he has a job, that means he has to buy his own school clothes?

Last night he came home, folded his new clothes, put them away and cleaned his room. He also asked me to wash his new jeans because he doesn't want to get "those blue rings" around the top of his shoes. Hm. I'm so very proud of him. He insists he wants to keep his futon, I insist he's outgrown it. The Boy is 6'3" and 175 pounds. HE HAS OUTGROWN THE FUTON. Plus, most nights he's most happy sleeping on the couch. So I told he will have a bed. The futon is in another room now. He can sleep on the bed or not. He's never really slept on a bed on a regular basis since he was wittle. He doesn't seem to like them. Odd.

He went to the mall at lunch and spent as much money as I did yesterday (of his own money) buying 2 pair of shoes and a hat.

The Boy wants to open a bank account. He'll be 16 in 2 days. The bank says it's ok and he can get a debit card so I don't have to be with him to get his money. He's a wiz at math and I know balancing the account won't be a problem. Ok. Here's the cool part. He got a job when he was 14, almost 15. He's now 15 almost 16 and still has the same job. Um. LOML. Lesson to be learned here - my kid has a job and you still don't. A month later. Hm.

He wants to open an account so he can save money.

He thinks he should buy his school clothes because he has a job.

I told him that when his dad contributes his half of the school clothes fund, I will give him the money because he spent his own on the shoes.

He gets his license Wednesday. And his truck. It's taking all I have not to start crying today, two days before his 16th birthday because I feel so damned happy and lucky to have just a wonderful, respectful kid. Especially after he's spent so many years watching his Dad be a fuck up.

I love my kid more than anything in this world and for those of you who hate sappy posts, fuck off - I got a good kid and I'm damned lucky for it! This week could be a week full of posts about the Boy, because every day he amazes me. I am so proud to have such a level headed child who thinks of everyone else before himself and tries his best to make me smile every day. The kid is intelligent beyond his mere 16 years, and I adore him.

Oh. And I have a doctor's appt today. I won't say what for, but biscuits come to mind. What with the yeast and all.

Peace out ya'll.

The Addiction

2006-08-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

There are no words to describe the feeling the Addiction brings. Yet I will try. The anticipation of the upcoming events is mind boggling. Hours pass as you wait patiently for the time to be right, to make your escape to that place makes you feel oh so much better even if just for a little while. That's why it's an Addiction isn't it? Because it ALWAYS makes you come back for more.

The time has finally arrived, hours of counting down until you get your fix have finally passed. But what if you're late. What if the guy isn't there, now the butterflies start. It's nerve-racking really. So many people waiting, what if someone sees you. Where will you hide, what will you tell them? How do you explain. If only you could stop.

You finally get there and you pay the man for your drug of choice, because he has many options. You move on over to a little table in the back so as to waste away in the glow of the feelings that you know are to come. You wait patiently for the feeling you've been longing for all day. You don't really know if this time will be the time or not. You are looking for something specific. That feeling you had the first time you hit big, you look for it over and over through the years, hoping to feel it again. Occasionally it's good and you do. Mostly you just feel bad when it's over and wonder why in the hell you brought yourself here again, wasting your money like this. But you can't quit. No matter how many times you try or what you tell yourself, no matter what the promises you make to the heavens, it never really seems to work.

When you aren't in this place, all you can see is dollar signs of the money spent. $50 here $75 there, once even $1,000 before you knew it. But oh was that a good night it all fell into place like it should, no worries, no fears, that's why it was so gratifying, because you weren't concerned with it, actually had given up on a good night. And then, out of no where, you get your hit! The one you've been waiting for - then it's time to leave. But this time, you get to leave with that wonderful feeling of success, because you know you'll be back and you know why. Because the feeling you get when you're here, good or bad, will tease you into returning. And you will. Because you have to. After all, we play Bingo here every Sunday, Monday, Thursday and Friday! $22.50 for one more chance to win $50, $75 or $1,000, if you're lucky! See ya'll next week!

I got the idea for this post when my sister in law won $1,000 at bingo last night. She is the luckiest damn person I have ever met in my life. She won $75 Sunday when we went and then this last night! She's also a semi-gambling addict - that girl LOVES to gamble. But she does have control of herself. Although our friends do laugh at us being 35 - 36 years old and going to Bingo on Thurs and Sun. My son asked what the fuck? (not literally) and I told him we were practicing to be Professional Old people! Geeze - I thought it was funny!

Peace Out ya'll.

My very first FOAD Thursday!

2006-08-10T16:04:00.000-05:00

Alwrighty then, let's get goin:

To the dumb fuck driving the Skipper's Trucking Dump Truck yesterday morning. The next time you pull out in front of someone onto a 2 lane road, you better make sure it ain't me buddy. Cause NEXT time, I promise I will not slam on brakes and spill my wonderfully tasty cup of Joe in my fucking lap. NEXT time, I will continue on my merry way and watch in hysterical laughter as your fucking truck turns over on the side of the road and the load of rock you just picked up gets flung into the nether regions of the ditches in the county! So - fuck off Skipper.

To the stupid fucktardasshatcunthotairfuckingbitch that was in my office Tuesday, FOAD, would ya? Here's the deal. You insisted on closing on your house before the repairs were done. You agreed that the estimated of $2,665 was sufficient. You agreed to let us hold the said $2,665 until the repairs were done. Yes, you gave the Seller until the 30th of June to finish. No he didn't get them done. He's an asshat too! But guess what, he also agreed to release the money to you to pay for the repairs. Only you won't sign a release. Bosslady told you OVER AND OVER that if you didn't want to sign the release, she'd be happy to release the money to the courts instead and let you fight it out. Then you had to go and tell her not to talk down to you, you have a doctorate. Congratulations fuckwit - did they teach you how to control your children in school? Cause my guess is you were out that day. Did they show you how to act like a complete cunt in public and pull the race card just because your Seller was a wad and didn't do what he said? Cause you seem to be teaching your kids pretty well. Nice to know another generation will have an excuse to fall back on when they find out it doesn't matter if you have a doctorate if you have the social skills of a baboon. And that's NOT a racial comment. You acted like a fucking ass. And to say that this town is racist because your repairs aren't done is asinine! No one failed to do your repairs for any reason other than your Seller is a jackass. I understand your anger. We all believe you are justified in your anger. But no one believes you are entitled to $2,665, plus the Seller being required to fix the repairs. You get one, or the other. That's it! I don't think there's a Judge in this racist town that would agree with you! That includes any judge you pick, no matter his/her race.

What the hell is it with folks thinking they are entitled to more than it's worth. Whatever it is? The estimate said $2,665. That's what we held. If he could get it done for that, so can you. Just pay the man to do it and move.on. Oh, and by the way, if my kid were having a bone marrow transplant, the last thing on my mind would be $2,665 for painting the outside of my house and replacing the locks on the windows. Got it? Stupidfuckingbitch

Ahhhh, much better. Thanks for FOAD Thursdays. I feel much better.

Have a Good Un.

Peace Out ya'll.

Ahem - Ok

2006-08-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

So you may be wondering what happened last night. Well, said knot was snatched in The Boy's ass and he is straight today and a lot more back to normal. I haven't figured out how to approach him about what I found out about why he's hanging out at BG's house. It's NOT as dramatic as I envisioned - cause you know, I'm a Mom and we always imagine weird shit. Like the things that went through my head yesterday, dope, drinking, sex, any other kind of perversion that would justify an insanity plea. Instead it is semi-harmless in a weird sort of way.

Ok. Here it is: Dick - you've been waiting - she lets him drive her truck without an adult in the vehicle.

Ok. No problem you say. What are you pissed about, you say? He'll be driving his own truck in 8 days you say. Well, here's the reason: He's still just 15, albeit for just 8 more days. He's been hanging at her house for this reason for at least a couple months (or more)Her vehicle that he is driving has no blinkers, bad brakes and HE IS NOT A LICENSED DRIVER. In Georgia, you must have your Learner's Permit for 1 full year before you can apply to get your regular license. If you drive with a Learner's you also have to have an adult licensed driver in the car with you at all times! There is a reason for that!

Also, if you are under the age of 18 you are not allowed to drive past a certain time of the evening. Nor are you allowed to drive with more than a certain number of people also under the age of 18. If you are caught violating these rules, after you get your regular license, they will take them away until you are 21 years old. Now. If they catch you violating these rules under the age of 16 with a regular license, same thing.

Her complete disregard for the rules I mention and the safety of my inexperienced child while driving her piece of shit, has put her in top spot of my anger today. I have not said anything yet for a couple of reasons. 1) I tend to react. That's not always good. I want to do this right and make sure she understands the extent of my anger without me putting her in a body cast. 2) I was given this information by someone The Boy trusts and tells all his secrets. I want him to keep telling her all his secrets because she will tell me if something dangers/wrong is going on. Like she told me this.

So there you go - any suggestions on how to keep my temper, not kill the bitch and hold my secret agent's confidence? Hmm, waddya think?

Peace out ya'll.

Weekends are Made for Lovin'

2006-08-07T14:54:00.000-05:00

Or something like that. I don't know. Right now I have pounding fucking headache and have to talk The Boy out of a trip to Alafuckinbama tonight after work.

Here's question for you though - when did it become a requirement that hanging at home with the folks be fun? Not boring. Not just sitting around watching TV. Shit didn't happen like that when I was a kid. What the Fuck? I know The Boy is almost 16. I also know that entertainment is alot fucking different these days.

SCREECHING HALT!

Ok. Something's swirling and I want to know what the fuck it is! There's this chic. Let's call her Baby Girl for now. BG, of course. I have known this chic for like 10 -11 years. We used to party together at a local bar that an ex boyfriend's band played in. She was really young then. She's still young now to me, but then she was too young to be there. Ok. Fuck it. She's 27. Yea I'm only 35, but I'm an old soul, so 27 is fucking young. But. Too old to be spending so much fucking time with my kid.

But here's the dealio - me and The Boy are driving to Alafuckingbama tonight to a friends house for more than one reason. One being I'm liable to snatch a knot in the kid's ass. I don't think she's screwing my kid. Believe me, if I did, I'd be over there already and sending you a Post from prison. That's just how I roll when it comes to my Boy. So. Here's how the chic got involved with my life 10 years later: She's been fucking around with MI (My Idiot - Ex husband #1 - The Boy's Dad). She works for MI. Fine. Nice girl, I really always liked her, still do. So far. So, the Boy likes her alot. She's sweet, fun to hang out with and not bad looking. My kid has a girlfriend that he's been seeing for almost 5 months. My concern is that he's spending too much time over there. To the point that he's using MI as his excuse. He says that he stays over there with his dad. So. Today I get pissed a little cause The Boy's all pouty about me not wanting to take him to Alafuckingbama. So he calls BG of find out if she'll take him. Of course she will. So now I'm pissed. I called MI. I want to know the true story about this chic. So here it is: The Boy has lied to me. MI said he stayed with her about 2 times and that was awhile ago. Needless to say, I'm taking him to Alafuckingbama and we're going to have a little chit chat.

Oh and BG? I let MI know in no uncertain terms, since he's hanging out there so much I want to know why. Because if I find out that she's letting him do something I disapprove of as a mother, the bitch better run and fucking hide because I will pay her a visit.

Fuck with me, fuck with my man, fuck with my dogs if you must. BUT. DO. NOT. EVER. FUCK. WITH. MY. KID. Just ask the last bitch.

Peace out ya'll.

Hell, Part Two

2006-08-03T14:04:00.001-05:00

Greetings all! It's me, Katie. What? You hear an echo, echo, echo, yea, that's probably because Hell has taken over Mytown, GA. It has now reached the outskirts of town and is headed for my lovely little abode in the next county. I don't know what's going on around here but someone must have leaked the story about the location I wrote early this week. Bite me I'm not linking.

I'm typing this post as quickly as possible because all the fire and brimstone is melting the wiring to all electronics. I don't know when I'll get out and I don't know if there is another way to communicate yet. I just got here. Hopefully, when it's 5:00 somewhere and I get a gallon of Vodka tomorrow night, hell will regress and life will go back to normal. The rest? Just Ramblin' Katie.

Quit cher bitchin' it's why you're here isn't it?

SFB - you were being an ass. You always end these arguments the same way, agreeing with me after I asked your Mom to step in and slap you around. Works every fucking time. Yet you keep fucking on. So stop it already. I'm fucking done. DONE!

SD and N (Stepdaughter and Neice) If you heard of the drama that unfolded yesterday after your calls, I'm sorry. I can not begin to explain LOML to you. But please rest assured this argument was not your fault. It is his. He has issues to deal with and he must deal with them himself. I love you both very very much and I am very proud of you. I don't want either of you to ever think you caused me any grief, I will gladly walk through fire and hell to help you or to be there for you. I have watched you both grow into beautiful ladies and mothers. I could never tell you what it means that you want me to be a part of your lives even now, after the divorce. You will always be a part of my family.

Drafty - You lucked up. Take it for what it is. Another chance. Don't go back to your old ways, your kids need you and 6 years of probation is VERY lenient. Coddle your daughter, teach her how to be different than you, better than you. And when you're done, slap the shit out of your son and tell him if he ever puts a hand on her again, there will be serious serious repercussions and then hold to it! If you don't, it's only a matter of time before he starts hitting you, then it'll be too damned late.

MIL - I love you more than words can say. You have been there for me since I was a child and you loved me through all the years since. You go to bat for me when you think your son isn't doing right by me. I dread the day when you are gone and I can't call you for support. I love you so much and I could never ever ask for another MIL like you.

It has just been a bad week from beginning to almost end. So there, sort of a FOAD thing, but not quite.

Peace is back. I'm Out.

I need an opinion Folks

2006-08-02T13:21:00.000-05:00

I have a situation. I need help with honest answers telling me if I am wrong.

scenario:

Two people who haven't seen each other in 10 years start talking and hanging out again. She's married. He's not. He's got a really BAD ex who couldn't be trusted as far as she could be thrown. Seriously. Bad. Bad. BAD. (Like leaving for 3 days at a time and not calling or anything, while he took care of her 4 children)

Ok. Her husband knows they are hanging out. He knows they used to date. He has been invited several times to go out with them but doesn't because they should be able to catch up. He trusts her. He has no problem with the guy. They're buddies. Old friend comes to her husband's 40th birthday party at their house. He invites the guy to spend the night after one particularly bad fight with his awful girlfriend. A couple months pass. Her husband gets a little nervous about it and tells her that if she can say without a doubt that she has no feelings for this guy, he'll have no problem with them being friends. She tells Husband that she's sorry, she can't say that. They are only friends but she does have feelings for him. Husband leaves. Two years later, she and the old boyfriend are married.

Fast forward to present time. They are at lunch together. She gets a call from the ex's/her niece. 3 weeks ago the ex's brother called her. This is his daughter. She has had no contact with the family at all since they split because the new hubby can't take it. He's over the fucking top jealous anytime she talks to anyone that knew her ex. Yes, the man who practically let them date when they were married. The ex's daughter called about a year before, she's pregnant, she wanted "Mom" to know. She called her Mom for years. 8 years. Her niece told her once that she was the only person who ever treated her like a human being.

Please tell me this: should the new husband be jealous to the point of a fit? Should he accuse her of talking to the ex daily and emailing him daily? Should he be mad at all? Or should she change her number and turn her back on everyone who meant anything to her for 8 years.

I just have to know. Because I can't stop crying right now. And I think it may be more than I can take another minute of.

Thanks friends.

No peace today.

Let Me Tell Ya About Hell

2006-08-01T11:56:00.000-05:00

Remember This?

The Boy moved back home here - so now I have to do the register for school thang. This is how it goes:

I know where Hell is. No pit of fire, no Satan commanding physical torture, no cavern covered with the souls of the evil from the world. Hell is located in MyTown, GA. Around here they call it the school district. It's our best kept secret. I mean, come on, can you imagine the traffic problems we'd have here if everyone knew exactly where hell was? Of course, it could also keep people away. Hmmm, maybe I should take out an ad.....Anyway, moving on.

Today was registration day. School starts in 2 weeks at The Boy's school due to renovations to the 100 year old building I graduated from! They have to go to Saturday School to make up for the 2 week delay. What's this meant to me? Means I'll know exactly where The Boy is for the first 9 Saturdays of the school year! HA! Try to hide from me why don't cha! Ok. Back to Hell. My trip to Hell began at 9:00 a.m. when I and The Boy showed up at The School to sign up for classes. Logically, The School would be a good place to start. In my hand I have alllllll the necessary papers, birth certificate, withdrawal papers from Backwoods High, transcript, shot records, power bill, you name it, I got it. Only I can't use it here. Even though The Boy only spent one year out of the district that he was in since Kindergarten, we have to re-enroll him as if he's never been here before. That's right folks. They sent me to Hell, Main Office.

Here's how it went:

Walk in.
Fill out form.
See this lady (Satan's cohort)
Lady sends me into the pits of hell. (That's waiting in the hallway if you didn't know)

This is where I stayed. For.One.and.a.half.hours. In the hot ass pit of Satan's stomach with every single person who has moved within our district in the last few months. Do you know how many that is? I'd say very close to 125 - 130 people in a school sized hallway. HALLWAY. FANS AT BOTH ENDS. What a joke those were. In this hallway, you are forced to witness repeated form filling and waiting processes for the poor souls who came in after you. All while 12 - 15 employees of Hell run around asking "Is there something I can do?" Seriously. 12 -15 people with nothing to do, yet at the same time, there's 125 - 130 of us sweating our asses off in the pit of hell. Once you get your "Assignment Letter". You are sent back to the substation of Hell. (The school where you started)

Now, 2 hours after you began your quest, you know you are within minutes of being done, your stomach is growling, The Boy has his schedule and in all honesty this part went well, he now has all the classes he needs to set himself up to take 2 extra credits to graduate with his original class.

So all in all, Hell hath no fury like a Moma tryin' to get her kid in school! I made it and I'm back in the wonderful AC that is my office and The Boy gets to start school 2 weeks late.

Quit Hatin' I know You Green

2006-07-25T13:55:00.002-05:00

WITH ENVY! And why wouldn't you be? I got the coolest Template around and you should be jealous. Don't you wish your page was a sweet as mine? I know you do. For real, don't hate - if you're really nice, I'll tell you where I got it.

D over at Deliteful Designs made this super awesome cool template for me. Check her out, she's got her shit together over there and doing a wonderful job, as you can see. Check her out Swing on over there now, have a look see, you'll like it. MAybe she can help you redo some stuff around your place.

Ya'll know you need to fix your shit, cause DAMN! So check in with D and see what she can do for you. Whatcha got to lose? Girl hooked me up but good! Thanks again D!

*************************

In other news. Nothing. Notta lot goin on here. Leandra over there gave me some good ideas about how to mess with the housecleaning crew at SFB's motel this weekend. And I am so going to do it. Over the top make up, thick mascara, ruby red lipstick and I swear for all that is Holy, I will buy me a pair of fish net stockings before I go up there. And the best part? I'm not going to tell SFB about it. I'll wait until he opens the door! God I hope his boss doesn't drop by or something just before I get there. That'd be my luck. Leandra, you better not get me in trouble putting all this crazy shit in my head!

All right then, everybody stand by Saturday with bail money in hand.

Peace out.

You a Ho, you know you a Ho

2006-07-24T14:49:00.001-05:00

Here's the story of the year! Ok. Maybe not. But it's funny as fuck! Friday night I left work and drove to Gainesville to be with SFB. He was working all weekend and didn't really see much sense in coming home every night. So I said "Yayy!" An adventure, a chance to get my feet wet driving in HOTlanta alone. Let us see, can I make it without Xanax assistance. And I did thank you very much. (Did make it. without the Xanax.)

So I'm all high on grown up accomplishments seeing as I'm 34 and one half years old and just drove through Atlanta for the first time. ALL.ALONE. Ain't you proud? I get there around 9ish, me and SFB go to dinner, uh, yummy - Longhorn Steakhouse - DAMNED GOOD STUFF I'm tellin' ya.

Then after dinner, we go over to the Motel and crash. It was a long long day. SFB gets up at 6 a.m. and goes on to work. I, of course, continue snoozing. Of course. Then 8:30 a.m. rolls around and SFB pops back into the room. They aren't working now after all because it rained all night and it was still raining like hell. Weeeeell, apparently there was a storm overnight which we both slept through and the job site is too wet to work on. So we're packing up to leave.

My husband, being the southern soul that he is, talks to everyone and in the past 3 weeks has made friends with the Indian (dot not feather) couple who clean the rooms. We ran into them on the way out of the room. I have just rolled out of bed, thrown on a pair of jeans and a shirt, no makeup, no hair fixin', just me. All naturale. But these people KEEP ON LAUGHING the whole time their talking to SFB. Bad weather. hee hee hee. You no worky. he he he. You go home? he he he

And then. It hits me.

They think I'm a whore. I turn and look at SFB and said - OMG! They think I'm a whore! They do. Seriously they think I'm a pussy slinging prostitute!! SFB thinks this is the funniest thing he's ever heard because the minute I say it, he realizes it too. Because he's been in this room alone for 3 weeks. And here's this chic, slinking out of the motel room at 8:30 a.m. no makeup, back pack for an overnight bag looking all sneaky cause she just rolled out of bed!

This is going to top the list of the funny Katie stories until the end of frickin' time. So there you have it - I gotta run yo, I'm due out on my corner in 30.

Peace Out. Hoes.

Two Mints in One

2006-07-21T13:44:00.001-05:00

Check it - two posts, one day. How cool?

The coolest, damnit! Why? Cause I done bitching. I'm not complaining on my blog anymore unless something really fucking interesting happens. No one out there cares about the bullshit that is sometimes involved in whether or not SFB is happy weird or freaking out, right. Yeah. So from now on, something new. I'm not sure what, but new on the way. Soon.

Disclaimer: I reserve the right to reject the post entirely and deny having ever written it in the event that my husband does something really bizarre like a 35 year old throwing a temper tantrum at 2:30 a.m.

Just a few notes

2006-07-18T08:51:00.000-05:00

Look out for an updated template around here soon. Denise over at Deliteful Delites has been kind enough to offer her services in revamping the ole homestead. I can't wait to see my wonderful new template! Go over there. Visit her Deliteful Designs. Really great designs, check it out......

Last night's events? Cut the grass in the front yard - 1/4 acre

Ate left over Crimson Crustation - yummy nummy

Painted one wall of the living room - so as not to kill myself I will be painting one wall a night. Smart little cookie ain't I?

Tonight's events? Cut the grass in the back yard - 1 acre - whew!

Eat something that requires very little preparation - possible pizza ordered on the way home.

Paint one wall of the living room

There you have it. Life at Katie's is boring as hell these days. No drama right now, unless you count the bullshit that happened Friday - which I will get to possibly tomorrow!

Peace Out.

Just Ramblin Katie today

2006-07-12T14:25:00.001-05:00

SFB is out of town Monday - Friday every week. I.am.fucking.bored.

I was going to surprise him tonight and drive up there to see him. Then I remembered this and was immediately thankful that The Boy is coming home tonight. So.I.Can't.Go.

Damn.

When I get home. I get to eat peas for dinner. Not english peas, like everyone thinks. But Little White Acre Peas like I shelled all by my damned self cause SFB was tooooo busy to help, therefore causing me to let a bushel of blackeyes go bad. And yes they did have a sheller at the produce market. But I'm Southern and I like to shell peas. Apparently my ability to shell 1 and a half bushels in a weeks time is pretty damned limited. Lesson learned.

SFB isn't answering his phone. He's probably pissed I didn't talk to him during my entire lunch hour because I worked through instead. That's just one of those things he'd get pissed about.

I am bored, but I really like being by myself right now.

SFB is very happy and has not been jealous or accusing at all since he's been gone. This week. Next week could be a different story. But he's trying.

2 months later, I still have custody of my sisters kids. I'm trying to think of a really good threat to scare the shit out her so she'll come sign the damned papers. Drafty little fuck.

Sometimes I miss my old life. Sometimes. I kind of have my old life, no one to answer to, cause SFB is out of town, but I can't do whatever I want either because drinks with the girls would be tanamount to searching for a new man. Whatever.

See. Sometimes.

I have friends I haven't seen in a long time. I blame SFB because he's so jealous. But it's my fault for not standing up and saying, they are my friends, fuck you, get over it. I'm a terrible friend.

That's why I talk to you instead of calling someone up. Thanks for listening to my shit. Sure is smelly around here.

Peace Out.

It's Friday for Cripes Sakes

2006-07-07T15:10:00.001-05:00

This MUST be the longest day in the world ever. (I know every long day feels like the longest one ever - shaddup) So. I screwed things up over here. Did you see? All my sweet comments are gone and I can't figure out how to get them back. Only I do like Haloscan and if I can't have the old ones, I'll take new ones, so please comment away.....

I did comment back to CP and Fid - mostly thanks for the well wishes and CP - ain't it great that things are great? I love love love it!

SFB comes home today. I think I found him an apartment though, which will save Bossman loads of money. Gas wise it's about $300 a week for SFB to come home every day. For an apartment, it's $415 a month. Who's the cool wife now, huh? I'd love for him to come home but let's be real here, how long do you think it would last driving 2 hours back and forth to work daily? He'd have to get up at 4:30 everyday, gone by 5:00 and not home until almost 8:00. Who can do that? We can't. It's too friggin much. Plus if he has to work on the weekend I can drive up and stay with him it'll be like a mini vacation even.

Ok. Not really, cause I'm a big wuss and the odds of me driving through Atlanta without having a nervous breakdown are pretty fuckin' slim, let me tell ya. There is a story, of course:

Scared of Atlanta. Period. Riding through Atlanta. Driving through Atlanta. Being in Downtown Atlanta. I DON'T KNOW WHY. There is something inherently embedded in my being that will not allow me to relax in the ATL. I've been to seminars downtown. Quiet as a mouse on the way (so very out of character, I am a MAJOR LEAGUE TALKER people) and the whole time I was convinced I was going to die in downtown Atlanta from the buildings toppling over on each other and squishing me as revenge for the spiders and other bugs I've stomped out of existence in my life. Seriously, like that insurance company commercial where all the highrises fall over like dominos on top of each other. It's weird. The riding thing. I can manage pretty well. Carefully scheduled naps or laying my seat down until I can't see the cars. It is just wrong to have that many lanes of traffic going that damned fast. Wrong. If I chose the awake option, I inevitably have claw marks in the palms of my hands by the time I get to the other side of Atlanta from holding my hands so tightly closed. Now you're up to date.

Saturday, we went and got SFB's work truck. I had to drive home. Through (or rather around) Atlanta. Because I refused to go through downtown. Better idea, right. NOTSOMUCH. I did it, don't get me wrong. I made it. We got to the south side of Atlanta, because that's on the way home and we live HELLO South of Atlanta. I was so tense, it was very possible to kill someone who might have attacked me with say a baseball bat or a two by four and hit me over the shoulders with it, they would have died from the impact of the bouncing back of the wood onto their face, thus cracking open their sorry assed skulls. Yea. Damn. So. I sit in my truck and shed a tear or two cause I don't want SFB to see me crying. I took a Goody powder, calmed down, got out of my truck, laid eyes on SFB and immediately burst into tears like a little baby what wost her bowtle. Geeze, Mother Mary. I couldn't stop crying. I was so upset and scared. SFB was wonderful, he asked me why I kept shaking my hands. I don't frickin know, all I know was that was fucking scary and I don't know how I did it. Needless to say, SFB says he'd never ask me to drive up there alone to see him. I'll just have to settle for weekends I guess.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

2006-07-07T10:45:00.000-05:00

OMG - I just added haloscan as my commenting thingy. I am so frickin stupid with this shit, I should have know better. Not that I don't like it, I do. But I lost all my blogger comments. Where the hell did they go? Anyone know how I can get them back?

Wicked this Way Comes..even

2006-06-30T13:08:00.001-05:00

Something really really weird has happened to me.

I don't know how.

I don't know when.

I really don't know why.

Here's the scoop: SFB and I have this thing where we pick out people's "favorite favorite word (or phrase)" You know what I mean. The word they use alllll the time. Mine is apparently. Our BIL's is "and everything". Our niece's is "yea, I know, right" Everybody has one. Well, we have a good time doing this and pointing it out to each other when it happens.

Along the same lines, we also harass the shit out of each other when something funky happens to the way we talk. Like SFB is the biggest hick on the planet, so sometimes when he says stuff, it sounds really really country. (Damn, see like this: really is a popular word today!)

Well, here lately, it seems that I have taken on talking like Snagglepuss. You remember Snagglepuss, right. If you don't, then this story is going to be really really weird. (Damn there it is again.) As if it's not really really weird already

Apparently, (hmph) the spirit of Ole Snagglepuss has worked it's way into my subconscious because I keep saying things like....

"Exit, stage Right"

"I like the asparagus, even."

My husband is spontaneously collapsing into a roll of laughter every time I do this even. I don't know where it came from and while I do remember Snagglepuss very well, I have not seen a Snagglepus cartoon in many years. I don't think my son (15 3/4 years old) knows who he is, even. See - damn! This shit is weird. It's really really freaking me out, apparently. (Damn.)

Sounds crazy? It is, just listen to the people around you and pick out there words. Words can tell alot about a person, like, when BIL says "And Everything" you can stop listening because the rest of his statement is probably pretty out there and very hard to believe even!

So..............(another of my favorite words for some reason) Here's a question for you. What's your favorite word? Not what's the word you like the most but what word do you use more than others.

Peace out! Exit Stage Right..............

I've Been Nice Up Til Now

2006-06-27T13:51:00.000-05:00

To the New Chic with ADHD and a Uncanny Ability to Piss Me Off - a/k/a Brown Nose Pissy Pants (BNPP):

Ok. See. I've been in this business, in this town for 8 years. I've been at this firm for 2 years. Never, in the entire time I have been doing this, have I found but one other person that is as annoying as you are. She was a dumb shit, waste of oxygen, fucking bucket of hair. You, however, are not a dumb shit. You have a modicum of intelligence about yourself, which leads me to believe you are either a) doing this shit on purpose or b) such an unbelievable suck up, that the possibility of getting that brown ring around your neck, (since your head is that far up the ass of anyone with a slight aura of authority in our office) will be next to impossible.

Let me just remind you of something. You have been here, in training, a total of 7 1/2 days. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make things easier for me.

1) I am not stressed out and do not need your help - but thanks for asking
156,987 times
2) You are just learning the job I have been doing for 8 years. If I have a situation, I am pretty sure I can handle it without your 7 and one half days experience. Yea.
3) I am #2 in command in this office, if I need you to do something, I will ask
you to do it.

Last week when I was taking a day off and you asked me 678,095 times if I needed any help with the files for the day I was out and I told you the 1st time you asked, that I was already done with my work for that day, thanks, there was no need to ask me the other 678,094 times.

I understand you are new. You are trying to make an impression. I get it, we all do it. But bring it down a notch sister. Everyone already has bets going on how long you will last in the satellite office bouncing off every frickin wall in the place when the two attorneys up there are the most laid back people any of us have ever met. It seems like quite an odd combination to me to add a self-serving, over the top Prozac needing jitterbug into the mix up there, but hey, I'm #2, I don't make those decisions. I'm just waiting on the first report after you've moved to your new home - I'm sure the old souls in that office will appreciate your "perkiness". Yea. Notsomuch (By the way, I can't wait until that happens because to be truthful, you have just about driven everyone up here crazy.)

So next time I'm having a work-related conversation with my supervisor or anyone in this office whose name is NOT BNPP - don't ask who, what, when or where? It's one of your God Damned business. Everything that applies to you in this office is assigned to you by your supervisor, that is NOT me. (I'm #2 bitch #2. If I need you want you or gotta have you in my business, the sentence that comes out of my mount with start with BNPP! Mmmmk? mk.

Now I'm really pissed cause you got me all riled up and made me type GD. That is so unfucking cool

Peace Out. Bitch.

Thanks Dustin Hoffman

2006-06-27T09:11:00.000-05:00

So the other night we watched Inside the Actor's Studio with Dustin Hoffman and learned my new very favorite cuss "word" -smooth balled, needle prick bug fucker - I know it's soooo very 7th Grade, but it was fucking hilarious!!!!

Ch Ch Ch Changes

2006-06-22T08:49:00.000-05:00

So, ok. I've always thought the Yahoo Avatar that I used for my profile was kinda cheesey, they all look alike so what makes me different than all the others. It's Mine Eyes man. Mine Eyes. So, stealing from one of my daily reads that is very cool, CMHL I have used her idea of placing my eyes here so thou caneth see Mine Eyes. Cool huh? I figure I can handle that much. I can remain anonymous even if you can see Mine Eyes. So there.

Look into my eyes, you are getting very very sleepy.......HA Just playin around today.

Um, it's the Happy Shoes, you know - they make lovin' fun. Or wait. That's Fleetwood Mac and YOU make lovin' fun. Hmmmm. Who are you anyway? So. There. Hope you like Mine Eyes. And I hope this isn't all I got today for a post. Today would be a good hang out listen to music on the beach day, don't cha think?

Oh and I'm sending CMHL a note asking if she can help with getting the eye thingy right. Cause as of now, it' looks like I'm a picture dumb ass with alot of white block around my face and while I am a picture dumbass, I don't have alot of white block around my face cause that would make me a square head and I ain't square man, I just ain't.

(Seriously, Fleetwood comes up as Flathead in spell check, um hello? Dictionary People, It's Fleetwood Frickin' Mac man, how can you not spell that? Do you know who Mick Fleetwood is, have you never heard the best drummer on the planet, son? Huh, what the fuck?)

No title, just stuff

2006-06-08T14:09:00.001-05:00

I am so unbelievably tired of the shit that has become my life, that I don’t even know how to express it in coherent sentences, so consider this your warning, the rest of this post may or may not be intelligible.

I feel like I am the only person I know who gives a shit about me.
I feel like someone I know told me that was how things really are.
There is no one in my life I can depend on.
I have one friend who I don’t feel comfortable telling about some things, so I don’t feel like I have anyone who can listen to me and not judge me.
I have no support from my husband, financially or emotionally.
I am at a dead end.
I am on the verge of losing everything I have ever worked for.
I don’t deserve this
I have worked my whole life just to end up in a dead end marriage to someone who is selfish and isn’t contributing to our life together.
That’s not true, he contributes chaos.
I don’t know how to admit this is a failure and move on.
I don’t know how to get him to leave.
I can’t/won’t leave myself.
I have worked since I was 15 years old and have lost everything more than once, I refuse to do it again.
My husband has no regard for anyone but himself.
Any attempt at getting him to see my point of view results in a HUGE argument ending with me being a bitch that doesn’t understand him.
Probably because I don’t understand him.
How can you be grown, married and live in this life with no desire to have a job or contribute to our lives together but then get pissed because I call it “my” house occasionally.
I did pay for it. Not you. I did. With my money before we got married. Before we dated, before either of us knew the other was still around somewhere.
You are selfish and try all you can to make me feel bad for not feeling bad for you.
Poor pitiful SFB – shouldn’t have to work, he’s never had any responsibility so why does he have to now? Because I’m tired of supporting him. I’m so fucking tired.
I’m so fucking sick of this shit. I live every day with the hope that I will wake up tomorrow and you will have just one ounce of selflessness to share with me. Just once I’d like you to do something to help me pay all the bills. I wish that when I went too bed tonight the taxes on my house would be paid. But they won’t cause you don’t have a job and I can’t afford everything on my own. I have to get a 2nd job now. Because after promise after promise after promise you are still an immature fuck who sees no reason to help me. I wish you would just pay one fucking bill in our house just once. I don’t mean borrowing money from your Mom or Dad to get us out of the hole. I mean not being in a hole. I mean never having an nsf charge ever again. I mean never being over drawn ever again because you wrote a fucking check I couldn’t’ cover, without telling me by the way. Fuck you. Fuck what you’ve done to my life fuck you for not being selfless, fuck you for being so fucking immature and spoiled. Fuck you for not wanting me to be happy. Fuck you for not helping me be happy. Fuck you for not making a life with me but instead sucking all the life out of the life I had before you. Fuck you. I’m tired, you’re a child and I’m not doing this shit any fucking more. Fuck you! No more chances, promises, new jobs, working vacations that cost me more money. No more driving a truck that could die any day because I can’t find the money to fix it because you won’t keep a fucking job. Fuck you for doing this to me. And Fuck me for putting up with it so long. I’m fucking done with this shit you fucking fuck! Fuck you.

I wish I could say I felt better after that, but I don’t’ because I know I have to go home and deal with this shit more. Some days I just want to get in my car and just drive off into the sunset. Could I do that, just this once, could I just do what I want to do instead of what he needs me to do because he’s so fucking empty of concern. I have made the worse mistake of my life. I’m so tired. So fucking tired.

"Um, I'm a dumbass, Mmkkkk?"

2006-06-02T10:42:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here's the deal. I work for an attorney's office, right? Right. I work in the Real Estate Department. It never fails, I am CONSTANTLY having people asking me "Is it legal to....." Seriously people. I've been out of General Practice for about 8 years, I don't know Jack about this shit anymore people. I like it in the real estate world. Sure, I have to deal with stupid ass realtors and lenders (I can call them that, I've paid my dues). People who come to see us are 99% of the time happy. They are buying or selling a house which involves money which usually involves happy. This is the BEST Frickin' part of law I think you can be in.

I told you that to tell you this: occasionally folks ask me un-real estate related questions. If my firm handles the type of law they are asking about, I generally refer them to the litigation department. If someone is going to make the money, it might as well be my firm, right? Yea. So. The people I refer here, are usually close friends and I want them to get good treatment. Really good. Not like they're my friends so they have to be treated special kind of treatment, but at the very least good, solid, professional treatment.

In the last few weeks, I have referred three friends/in-laws to one of our satellite offices with mostly very very good results. I'm happy with everyone being happy, however there was one incident I'm not happy about.

Gooooooood family friend is filing for divorce. He has not told his wife. She is to be served with papers by the Sheriff. The thing that disturbs me is chic has been violent, ok? She has attempted to shoot her husband and also tried to kill him in the car by driving drunk at 120 mph on a two lane road. The attorney advised my bud to move out and move out quickly. Now, staying as uninvolved as possible, I got involved in this by my friend asking me for the telephone number to my satellite office, which I gave him. Last night, he asked me to notarize his signature, which I did. This is the extent of my involvement, okay? Well, in the process of getting the papers signed so I could bring them back to the office for him, he tells me about the chic in our satellite office that is the assistant to the litigation attorney. He says he doesn't think she's all that bright. Looking for good inner-office gossip on the new chic no one has met, can put me in the front line of knowing all about her, making me the envy of the ladies in our office, k? But what I hear disturbs me. Bud asked her specifically to call him when his paperwork was ready and NOT, I REPEAT NOT to mail it to his house because he's a truck driver and his wife doesn't know about the divorce yet. He said he'd come by and sign it at the office. Weeeeeeeellllll, DumbassinSatellitteOffice (DASO) mails the shit to his house! Yes people - fucking mailed it to his house. Now. Are you as pissed as me?

This man's life has been threatened by his wife and the stupid bitch at MY office mails the shit to his house! Things didn't turn out the way they could have, he was home when the mail ran, so he got the papers, but damn I'm embarrassed. I'm gonna send an email to the lit atty out there, but damn! How fucking stupid can these people be? I'm just sayin'. Cause, maybe you should consider a new line of work. Hon.

Tuesday is Monday

2006-05-30T09:13:00.001-05:00

I hope your Memorial Day was relaxing and full of fun and sun! Sunday was cool for us, we were on Lake Harding cruzin' with the BIL and SIL taking in some rays. Things turned bad in the p.m. though, when the boat SFB was supposed to pick up for BIL from ATL (purchase made) left me and SFB stranded in the middle of the lake with no sun block, no water, nothing except my cell and frantic calls to all we knew to get them back out there to pick us up before we CRASHED into the rocks/stumps/debris on the bank. Finally, the guy we bought the boat from arrived and rescued us, but not before sending me into upper body sunburn hell. I was fine before this little episode people. If we had made it to our destination, I would have been perfectly golden instead of crustation-like.

So we never made it to my Aunt's fish-fry, which was the target location of the day and DAMN was I hungry for some catfish, hushpuppies and slaw. My Aunt can cook up a storm, doyouheremehuh? Never.Made.It. So, instead, we had left over hamburger steak from Friday. Yummy.

So today fucking sucks. It's Tuesday but feels like Monday which means by Friday I'll think I have one more day before the weekend. So far that's the best part of this week.

There's this chic that works here. I say chic, you think young girl. I mean old lady who should have retired several years ago and spent the last few years gambling and babbling to her fucking cats about how miserable she is instead of fucking with me. Ok. She's not directly the one who fucks with me, it's the attorney for my department that fucks with me but it's because the the mean old bitch who should have retired 10 years ago. See, if she has to do more than one or two files in a day, she walks around bitching and slamming shit around and being rude to everyone, including the attorney, the clients and all co-workers. She's just fucking miserable. So, to avoid hearing her bitch, bosslady gives EVERYTHING to me. I have to do twice as much work as the old hag to keep Bosslady from getting yelled at by an employee. How fucked up is that? So, this morning I come in, having left a little pissy Friday because I had to help the hag with settlement statements because DAMN one more fucking thing is too fucking much for her. (did I mention she does half of what I do?) And when I come in today, I have now acquired ANOTHER fucking file because we can't have the fucking bitch bitch can we? So now I have 5 - count them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Fucking closings today and this fucking bitch has 2. Count them: 1, 2.

I fucking hate my job some days. That's not fair. I don't hate my job. I hate the half assed, bullshit people who work here and bitch about doing 1/2 of what I do who probably make twice what I fucking do and the fact that I can't tell anyone to shove it up their asses. Fucking bitches. Fuck!

"REST of the Story"

2006-05-25T15:25:00.000-05:00

Ok, this is taking longer to tell than I thought. I have funny shit people and I can't share funny shit until I finish this GD story. Mkk? Mk.

So basically, Drafty gets busted with Crazy Husband (CH for my sorry ass typing purposes) CH takes the wrap so Drafty only gets 90 days for the stuff she had on her, plus probation. Only the stupid fuckwit doesn't learn a lesson and keeps doing all this crazy shit, eventually writing forged checks all over 4 counties. With me?

So yep, she gets busted, Dopey is with her and also gets busted for giving false information after she uses Dodgey's name instead of her own because she has Warrants too - following me here? My family is fucking psycho!

So time passes, Mom has 4 children living with her cause their Mama's are locked the fuck up, right? So Dodgey goes with Ma to see Drafty in the county lock up. She signs in. She waits, she gets popped for a speeding ticket she never paid - are you keeping track? I now have 3 sisters in the Pokey people. IN THE FUCKING.POKEY.ALL.THREE.D'S. Fast forward to court after she's out of the joint, she finds out the speeding ticket wasn't hers. It was Dopey's that dopey never paid for and used Dodgey's name LAST time ole girl got fucked up!

You can't make this shit up. You just can't.

So, fast forward to about 10 months into Drafty's time in the Joint, the State Joint, the Penitentiary people. I get a call that my nephew - let's call him DemonSpawnfromHell is being mistreated. Mistreated by his Step Grandmother. Mistreated meaning hit with a broom handle as punishment and with a switch until his legs bleed. I got very very pissed - showed my ass but good and got custody of the two children inside of 2 months later. Their Grandad called the day AFTER I showed my ass and told me to come get them.

Fast Forward past several months of hell. DSFH gets suspended within a 2 week period of FINALLY getting into school after I had to fight the County for 2 months to get him in. (the county we live in has a very good school district and people lie, cheat and steal to get their little hellions into the system) Well, my little hellion truly did belong there because he lived with me. This kid has some serious issues people. He has choked, punched, pounded, cursed and threatened his sister into this scared little baby that jumps up and does things for him without him even asking her too. I'm not kidding, this kid is truly DSFH. I have tried everything, I sent him to therapy after the first suspension because of the nature of the incident. He did alot better for a long time. The entire time I've got them, I am petitioning the courts in the fabulous state of Ala-Goddamn-Bama to get my sister home as quickly as possible because the possibility of me killing her child is getting closer and closer to reality. Instead of being appreciative that the last possible family member he could go to has taken him in, the little punk continuously manipulates everyone in the house with his snide little remarks and "Why's everybody lying on me?" Bullshit. I mean EVERYONE, Bus Drivers, Teachers, Principals, Me, LOML, his Sister (SweetHeartLittleAngel), EVERYONE lies on him. He doesn't do anything wrong,right? WRONG! My husband (Love of My Life - LOML) has caught him punching his sister in the back as hard as he can. She just balls up and cries and if you ask her about it, she says it's her fault. DO YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?

So, Drafty gets home just before Christmas. I'm excited AS HELL because now she can deal with DSFH and I don't have to, right? Nope. She lets him treat her like pure shit people. He talks to her just how the hell ever he wants to and she fucking takes it! It makes me so mad I swear to you I could bite through rusty nails (if you didn't already know I was from Georgia) I can't fucking take it anymore ok? Last 3 weeks of school - May - 2006. They still fucking live with us. DSFH gets suspended 3 days from school - for hitting a girl for no reason. No provocation, wasn't even looking in his direction, so he gets up and slaps the shit out of her. I AM PISSED. So in addition, he's suspended an addition 3 days from the school bus, which means that I have to take the little fucker to school for 3 days - in the opposite direction of my job. Week 2 of the last 3 weeks of school. Suspended again! For stealing money out of a girl's purse. Stealing - strike three, buddy, you are fucking out! This kid has been suspended 5 times since I've had him - that's 8 months of school and he's suspended 5 fucking times. I do not spank this child because I am terrified that if I ever hit him, I won't stop. I am seriously scared I will hurt him. So.

The day before I started this Saga, I told Drafty that DSFH can not live in our house anymore and I didn't care what that meant. He makes everyone miserable with his drama and bullshit and he terrorizes her and SHLA and if she's not going to do something about it, I'm sure as hell not going to sit back and watch it fucking happen. So that's it. That's the Story. The tension that has been my life for the last year magically disappeared last Friday, May 19, 2006. Only to return on day to get their black trash bags full of shit they left at my house. Seriously people, you don't KNOW what this child has put me and LOML through. Not to mention what he probably does to SHLA when we're not within eye-shot.

I am so looking forward to the peaceful times of seeing some of the 3D's during the holidays and never all at the same time. I am so looking forward to telling my Mama "I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about what they've done now. They get themselves into this shit and I be damned Ma, I be damned."

Thanking God that I got to live with my Dad - I could not be like them, I could never survive it. I would go crazy. Hell, I'm going crazy trying to help them. So now, I'm done. It's back to mind your own business, wait for the rumors to fly and letting everyone in the family call me a bitch because I won't help. I'm done folks. I've helped my last time. These people are fucking lunatics and I'm done.with.it. Teach me to stick my damn nose where it doesn't belong........

The Story - Part Deux

2006-05-23T15:30:00.000-05:00

Ummm, let's see, where was I? Oh yea, living with Pop, the 3D's having the time of their lives doing anything and everything their little hearts desired. While I sat home either grounded at Dad's or Babysitting at Mom's. MIL thinks it's so sad that she remembers me coming to the bar where Mom worked with all 3 girls following behind me to get money or find out when Mom was coming home. (She wasn't always working when I babysat. I was 12 for Christsakes! And I didn't get paid either!

So basically, the 3D's have all at one time or another been involved in abusive relationships, on drugs, on welfare and had someone else raising their kids. I have offered help over many many years, only to be told to mind my own business. So that's what I've done. I've stayed out of it. I don't usually know what's going on with the 3D's unless I run into someone who knows we're sisters and lets something slip. And then it happens. Drafty gets locked up. Again. (At one point, the 3D's were alllllll in jail at the same time!) I.Swear. Drugs, crimes to get money to get drugs, stealing to feed children, fighting for being stupid. You name it, they've done it.

Eventually, Drafty get's it good. 2 years State Penn. They've all done 30 - 90 days in this county or that. Drafty got the hardest hit so far. Mom took the children. Dopey didn't learn anything and continues to do Crystal meth while Mom raises her children for her. (Kind of ironic isn't it? I raised them she raises their kids? Anyone see a pattern?)

Now, I don't mean to brag, but I'm the Good Kid. It's what everyone calls me. GK. Me. I have NEVER been to jail, just the thought that I might go one time, sent me into a swell of tears and shallow breathing that could have easily been described as hyperventilating. I had a Deputy Sheriff, who is reputably the "Hard Ass Don't Help Nobody Asshole of all Deputies" feel so sorry for me, he got the Judge back from chambers and let me change my plea so I wouldn't go to jail. So, you see, I've lived exactly the opposite life as the 3 D's. My Dad did right by me (I now know) and made sure I made good decisions. I have a house, I have a good kid, I have a nice car, I don't ask for anything from anyone, I am completely self-sufficient. My sufficiency is suffoncified. (As my hilbilly LOML would say)

But Drafty, man, did she get it good! First she married a man 30 years her senior who was a drug dealer with mean children (all of whom were older than Drafty) Seriously, she's like 23 when they get married, he's 54! I swear! Next, she gets him busted. I say she gets him busted because it was her stupid act that caused the actual busting, completely leaving out the fact that he had 5 pounds, Yes, pounds of Crystal Meth in the house. She gets him busted because - hang on, you're not gonna believe this: she had to go to the store to get some hair color to color her hair, even though she doesn't have a drivers license and has a history of getting in accidents. Now look. This is a mean man. This is a man who nails cabinet doors shut if you leave them open. This is a man who nails the front door shut if the kids go in and out too many times. This is a man who is currently doing 15 - 30 thanks to Drafty. Yep folks, she hi-tailed it to the store and got her some hair dye. Realized she was supposed to be back already to wake the Monster up, so she speeeeeeeeeeeds, with no license or insurance, back to the house, running from the State Trooper who has spotted her and called for back up. Runs the back up off the road into a ditch, flys into the back yard, throws a tarp over the bright red Camaro she was driving and runs into the house (back door of course cause the front doors nailed shut), thereby giving the State Troopers and County police the Probable Cause they need to enter the house to get her. THE HOUSE WITH 5 POUNDS OF CRYSTAL METH TUCKED AWAY IN THE HOUSE THE COPS HAVE TRIED TO BUST BEFORE BUT COULDN'T.

Guess what? Hubby's up already - there's gonna be trouble.......

.......Folks in Hazzard don't know what to do with this kind of trouble, seems some days, things just get crazier and crazier - wwwwwwooooooooo hhhhhhhhhooooooooo! ya'll come back now ya hear?

Awrighty - The Story Part One

2006-05-19T12:58:00.000-05:00

So. Yep. Changed the Template. Whatcha think? I like it. I'm learning alot about what the hell I'm doing. So I figured, the cute little devil fits me at times, and since the blog title is "and then came life..." it was appropriate. Anyhow. Friday. Right.

ok. my story. wrote a song about it. wanna hear it? here it goes: doesn't rhyme. hell, who'm I kidding, it ain't even a song. does sound like the blues though.

Back in August of last year, mine and LOML's lives took a tremendous change. A real what the fuck moment occurred that took us both into never never (again) land. I have 5 sisters, you see. 2 of whom, I may never ever mention because they are basically good kids and never give me any grief. I say kids because out of all the siblings, I'm the oldest. Here's the breakdown of kids:

Katie - Oldest and only child between my Mom & Dad
Dopey - 3 years younger than me and 1st child of Mom & 1st Stepdad
Drafty - 6 years younger than me and 2nd child of Mom & 1st Stepdad
Dodgy - 9 years younger than me and only child with Mom & 2nd Stepdad
Precious - 9 years younger than me and 1st child of Dad & Stepmom
Little Bitch - 14 years younger than me and 2nd child of Dad & Stepmom

Got it? Ok. Little Bitch shows up occasionally in my life, it's never good. She's, well, a little bitch. Precious is great, wonderful, sweet little thing and I love her to pieces. She calls for advice and stuff. Just like a little sister should be. These two we'll not hear much of. Sad isn't it? Precious should be the one I see and talk to all the time. But.No.

Dopey, Drafty and Dodgy bring the drama and the pains in my life. I have spent 34 years in this world trying to avoid being a part of the 3D's drama and bullshit. I have done a GREAT job of it. I have always been referred to as the Other Mother, the Bitch, the one who thinks she's better than everyone and all sorts of shit I'm sure I don't want to know about by the 3D's. I helped my Mom raise the 3D's starting at a very young age. My MIL remembers when I was 10 with the 3D's dragging behind me to where my Mom worked. Before I go farther, let me just say, I'm not angry at my Mom in any way, I just don't think she knew what to do with 4 kids by the time she was 26 years old, ok? So don't hate.

When I was about 8 or 9, I moved in with my Pop. I hated it. I didn't like living there, I thought he was evil and I spent the majority of the 5 years I was there trying to get out. I ran away several times, always going to Mom's and always leaving to go back home with Dad. Only recently have I figured it all out. More on that later.

As adults, me and the 3D's have a nonspoken understanding. They don't get me involved in their shit, I don't beat the fuck out of them. It's simple really. I'm nice to everyone, I don't lecture and I stay uninvolved. This relationship has come about because of my not realizing what I was getting myself into and trying to help the 3D's (individually) at one time or another in their lives. IT ALWAYS SLAPS ME IN THE FACE AND IT IS ALWAYS A BAD BAD IDEA.

Stay tuned.....it gets weird...........bad........crazy

So Proud, So sickly

2006-05-18T08:08:00.000-05:00

I'm proud of my previous post, that's part of why I left it up so long. The other part, lazy. Today? I'm Sick. I have a fever, I am at work anyway. My office manager says I should be ashamed, because now my department will get sick, as I am contagious with the fever. Blah I say. I don't want to be here. But my conscience won't let me stay home. If I go home, OHWA (Old Hag With Attitude) may just have to do a little work, and that makes everyone else's life miserable. I can't do that the ladies, but I can give them whatever bug I have. How fucked is that?

So feel pity for me, oh faithful readers, I am yucky and my Momma dresses me funny.

Edit: May have to go home anyway, LOML just called, he fell off a track hoe this a.m. and may have tailbone issues. (and no a track hoe isn't a Ho with tracks)

Peace Out

MY kid is the BEST kid in the world!

2006-05-12T08:17:00.000-05:00

So, The Boy, he's almost 16. My baby. Almost.Driving. I can't stop thinking of him these days. I am often distracted with memories of him growing up. I'm sure this is normal for all mothers. Especially close to Mother's Day.

My mind is overshadowed with stuff like

...the day he was born when all I could say was "Ohhhhhh, look at what we did" "That's my baby",

...days like when he was 4 and me and his Dad were getting divorced and I went to see him on the day he spent with the grandparents and he asked me what time it was and told me I should go so his Dad wouldn't start any trouble when he got off work, cause "He'll be here soon, Mommy, go on home, I love you" HE WAS FOUR.YEARS.OLD,

...days like the next year when he broke his nose on the trampoline and then 2 weeks later jumped out of stacked lawn chairs so he could slam dunk the ball and broke his arm. He made the shot.

...like when he was playing football.Barefooted.After he was told to put on shoes so he didn't get hurt, and later had to have 8 stitches where he cut it. He was so proud of those scars, he showed them off for YEARS to everyone he met.

...the day he had to leave elementary school and cried because he wanted to stay there forever. (That still continues to this day, he would LOVE to finish school at that place, he holds nothing but great memories of the teachers, especially the one that had the same name as me.)

...when Dale Earnhardt died and he called me, crying and asked if Dale could still be his favorite driver, even though he died. (The Boy was raised on Chevy and Earnhardt, just like Mom)

...the basketball games for the Y, win or lose.

...the year he found out he couldn't go back for the Summer program at the Boys & Girls Club, because he would be too old. So instead, he wanted to go back as a Junior Counselor.

...last summer when he started asking if he could drive EVERY time we got in the truck

...last summer when he failed the 9th grade and had to change schools cause Mom's a bitch and Dad does what she says, so he showed me, moved in with his Dad, broke my heart, but improved his grades to honor roll, earning his way back to the school I went to, his grandparents and uncles went to so he can graduate with the kids he went to kindergarten with

...last summer when at 14 years old he asked if he could get a job, would I let him work

...last October when he nagged me for 2 weeks to go to the mall with him so we could take a picture together for him to have engraved on a dog tag to wear around his neck.

...the fact that he wears it every single day

...last year on my birthday when he bought me a ring with his birthstone on it with his own money

...last Christmas when he went to the mall alone and took a picture of himself to have engraved on a heart shaped "charm" so I could wear it and think of him (like his dog tag)

...every time a Harry Potter movie comes out and he calls to make sure our date is on for the movie

...last year when he insisted on paying for the tickets to see the movie

...earlier this year, when he rented his first Tux to take his then-girlfriend to the Military Ball and he was oh so excited because I went to the Military Ball when I was a Freshman, and he remembered that and said "Mommy, I get to do something you did!"

Last night when he called and said he wanted to make sure I could pick him up from work Saturday night so he can take me to dinner.

I know most people are posting about their Mothers today. I love my Mom dearly. I wanted to write about The Boy because he will celebrate Mother's Day with me Saturday and without him, I wouldn't be a Mom. My son satisfied every maternal instinct I ever had to the point that I don't hold other babies, I don't goo and gaa at them, I talked to my son as if he were an adult and I think that is why he is such a responsible, mature young man now.

I talked to my Dad this morning and told him how much I appreciate the years I lived with him, because it is the reason I am so different than my sisters (which is another post for another day) Dad was the trigger for this post. He said to me that he knew I understood now why he was so strict with me when I was a kid/teenager, and he wanted me to know that the real reason for it was so that I would grow up to be a better person than he was. He said he thought he had succeeded, because he knew I was a better adult than him. I told him I disagreed, but he wouldn't relent. All in this world will be right if my son grows up to be a better person than I am. I hope for him all the patience he needs to be there for the people who will one day depend on him. And I hope one day I get a call from him telling me how much the entirety of his childhood and the decisions I made for him (whether he agreed at the time or not) made him the adult he is. My son is the light of my life and will always be the ruler of my heart. Without him in my life, I can not imagine the reason I was brought into this world. Bucy, you're the best kid a Mom could ever ask for! I love you with every inch of my being and I always will. I am very proud of you and I can not wait to see the man you will be. You say I'm the coolest Mom in the world - I say it's because of you. Thanks baby, I love you!

Scrambled Dog Hell

2006-05-05T12:02:00.000-05:00

Do you know what a Scrambled Dog is? If you're "not from around here" meaning the South, you may not. If you do, please don't feel like I'm over-explaining but, it's sooooooo good and soooooo easy. And it's also one of those foods that Southerner's crave and folks from other places look at it and say "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU EATING?"

Scrambled Dog

Boil a hotdog. Put it on a bun. Slice bun and dog into bite-size pieces. Cover with a little ketchup, slaw, pickles, onions, cheese, relish, mustard and chili (and oyster crackers if you want). And Serve. With.A.Fork.

Easy right? Scrambled Dogs are a staple at any bar-b-que joint around. I don't know why, it is weird, but it is the South, after all. so my question is this: If you are presumably (by her accent) in the South, working at a BBQ joint? How the hell do you not know how to make a Scrambled Dog?

The BEST BBQ joint in town also has the BEST Scrambled Dogs. Usually. Now they have hired, I'm a New Girl Who's Going to Screw up your Southern Craving For Lunch chic. I thankfully checked my lunch before leaving the parking lot and discovered a damn chili dog! Believe me people, there is a HUGE difference. So today, at my lunch hour, I got to train the new girl on how to make a Scramble Dog. Southern Style. Approved by her boss and coworkers, she now can make a very tasty SD in proper BBQ joint fashion! Thankyouveryfuckingmuch.

This day - it is a good day!

2006-05-05T08:37:00.000-05:00

Today is good. "goooot" The jeans, they are on the body as I sit in my chair at work. WORK! Can you believe it? The firm has softened up and allowed a "Jeans Day" All are happy in the world of law around here! Why is this such a big deal? Well, let me tell ya!

When I first came to work here 1.5 +/- years ago, the capri pants that are comfortable and relaxing were allowed. The skirts/dresses that are oh so cute were allowed. Then came the hoochie mama's. Ok one of them was already here, but she was not so bad until she figured out she wasn't the hottest chic on the block anymore. So a silent war began between the 2C's - which is kinda funny cause the 2 C's had the same name and the same looooonnnnggg dark hair and the same humongous tits. And the same I'm hotter than you attitude. Which, by the way, is so totally off character of anyone else in my firm. So a new dress code was instilled because of these type of outfits being worn to the LAW FIRM:

So we in the satellite offices received a telephone call. No more capris, no more skirts/dresses, no more boobies. And then it happened: "I don't worry about
you Katie - You are part of the older crowd and you don't dress trashy." Um OK. Um, can you say double handed compliment please? I don't dress trashy, and that's a plus, a big plus. I don't want to be trashy. I am white. And if you add trashy to white, you can only get white trash. Then you're just a hop skip and JUMP from white trailer trash. Which would really suck cause I've been lucky enough to never live in a trailer.

Now, the bad side you ask? YOU'RE PART OF THE OLDER CROWD she said. Older Crowd. OLDER CROWD. OLDER CROWD

This was a very traumatic day for me. I cried for days, I couldn't go to work, I couldn't face anyone. I was mortified, I told LOML that I would totally understand if he traded me in for a younger more trashy model. I instantly didn't care about the white trailer trash impression. I wanted to be white trailer trash, I wanted to dress trashy and be associated with all things that make people make fun of us Southerners. I.was.devastated. Then it got worse: I started thinking of allll the people in my department and realized, save one older lady that works here, I AM the older crowd. I am at least 3 years older than the next oldest person in my fucking department. My social prowess at work was demolished. Until today!

Two things I'm not modest about: I have a nice ass and great legs. Today we can wear jeans and today everyone can see how nice my OLD ass is! Vindication, at last! So, yep, today is a damn good day!

Oh, by the way - I am only 34 years old.

Last post about this subject

2006-05-02T09:48:00.000-05:00

Ok, after I read my posts, sometimes I wish I had said things differently. This is what you get when you post without editing. My choice, my blog. The more I think about yesterday's post, the more I feel like I was making excuses even though I said I was not making excuses. So, here it is, without apology or re-thinking:

I have no problem with folks coming here from another country. I have no problem with anyone seeking a better life, moving to America and making a better life for themselves. As long as they do it LEGALLY! It's a sad day when American's can't get jobs because there are illegal aliens taking less pay for the work our poor need to survive. Anyhow, like it or not, it's just not cool.

Now, that being said I also feel that the legalized aliens should learn at least enough of our language to communicate. I do not think we should have to learn another language because they came here and won't learn ours. period. end. of. discussion.

Anyone is allowed to diagree with me. Anyone is allowed to voice their opinion. It is America after all, it is my country and I don't mind other opinions. Opinions are just like asses, we alllll have one!

Ok I know I should be working...

2006-04-27T08:34:00.000-05:00

It is the busiest time of the month for us, but I just discovered something that's really kind of freaking me out. Because of my little rendezvous with Dr. Let me Check your Ass, when someone searches Google for "clear fluids" there is a result that brings them to my site. Funky weird. Kinda makes me wish I wrote something more interesting so that the reference to my sight wasn't the story about pictures of my damn colon! My claim to fame, after all, is my ass! Go figure.

By the way, today is much better. Many thanks to honestyrain for her comment yesterday, I was feeling rather blue and much like cocka. Today is better, days to come appear to be Sunshiny even if the weather isn't. I just hope LOML keeps his promise, if so, all will be well soon!

The Rest? Not so much

2006-04-25T10:53:00.000-05:00

Things pretty much suck for me right now and I can't even bring the joy of a good post. Hmmph, no one reads anyway. It's just bad, ok. I'll be back. I just don't have anything funny or happy to say right now. I don't like to bitch here, I use the other place for that. So today's post there explains today's post here and yadda yadda blah blah blah. I keep waiting for the dam to break, but it never does. I keep waiting for the days to get better but they never do. I keep wondering who I was in another life. It's supposed to be:

Obviously she didn't have these problems.

Quizilla

I WANT SLEEP

2006-04-20T12:12:00.000-05:00

Today is the day after. The day after my FIL got to town (love him dearly). The day after the Post meeting. The day after elections. The day after I won the post for Treasurer. The day after I was appointed Secretary. The day after I didn't sleep well. The day after I got loaded. The day that I feel like cocka!

Elections were held at the VFW Post last night where I'm a member. I ran for Treasurer last year and didn't get elected (because I was not there because I was out of town and the then President told everyone not to vote for me, but to vote for the dumbass with the hair piece instead - for future reference we will call her HP for Hair Piece, I like that, yep that's her new name). This non-election ended with HP being our new Treasurer. Now, I know HP from work, cause she's Realtor and I mean that in every she's an idiot who doesn't know her as from an inspection sense of the word. I have never had a closing go well when she was involved. Therefore I had foresight into how things would be with her as our Treasurer. After my little political jaunt I let the President know she would in fact be getting what she asked for and not to expect anything less than chaos for our accounts over the next year. Guess what! I was right. We haven't had a complete or accurate treasurer report in the last year. As Trustee I have to Audit the books every quarter and believe me, someone else must have fixed stuff for her, cause DAMN!

Anyway, I've been vying for a new President and got it! Yippee! I was nominated for Treasurer and won, with 14 votes over 2 for HP! Yippee! And I asked the new Prez who she'd be appointing as her Secretary and she said "You". So I ended up with 2 positions and a great chance to do my best to improve the Ladies Auxiliary and increase membership so that we can do a better job of helping out local Veterans. I'm very proud today, although very very tired from too much Bud Light after the meeting.

I will apologize now for the boring factor of my post today and mark it up to I don't want to be here this fucking sucks that I can't be asleep right now.

Well now

2006-04-18T12:25:00.001-05:00

So I've been bored, depressed, quiet, napping and delusional lately, therefore, no time to blog. Work's actually pretty busy, so mostly I've just been reading my favs and closing loans. I don't blog from home, cause then SFB might figure out I have a blog and if you've read any of my previous posts you can guess that might not be good. Regardless of the way I'm usually angry with the SFB, I am trying to hang on to him, so I don't necessarily tell him just how pissed I am. I come here and vent.

I've really been upset about how non-humorous this has turned out to be. I'm hoping all the wit and charm I usually possess will spill over abundantly onto the blog-thingy. With any luck, life should be happy as usual (or not usual lately) within a week or so.

I'll have another post later about something funny that happened to CC@W's (cool chic @ work) Mom and kid. Had me laughing out loud all night last night.

Word Cloud

2006-04-11T15:42:00.000-05:00

Cool

Sometimes I dream

2006-04-11T12:13:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday morning. I get to sleep in. That means 9 a.m. instead of 7 a.m. I get up, make coffee, go to the living room in my swank cool apartment in town. Watch the a.m. news. No one here, just me. Cause I live alone now. The Sibling and her offspring have moved on the now ex husband is back with his Mom and I get to do what the fuck ever I want. So I'm gonna smoke a ciggie, drink my coffee, watch the news. Maybe some crafts, then lunch with The Boy (my son). Maybe me and the girls will resurrect the Saturday at the driving range hoopla. That was always fun. Nap in the p.m., out for drinks and dancing with the girls and nothing that HAS to be done until Monday. Ahhh, the single life I've never had is really more than I ever hoped for. With any luck, the dream will end and this will become my Saturdays.

**Oh yea - the doc thing sucked and I won't get my results until Thursday. Hopefully, all remains well.

A -Hem - I'm back

2006-04-07T14:09:00.001-05:00

So, Monday sucked right, check out the last post you'll know why. Cause see, I was right.

I'm still not over the phone shit. Stupid Ma Bell. This is gonna take some getting used to!

But my Monday was followed by a not so bad Tuesday followed by this schedule:
(I'm paraphrasing cause I threw this shit away the MINUTE I was done with it)

LIQUID DIET FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS:

Drink lots of clear fluids (Jell-O, chicken or beef broth, water, tea, coffee (WITHOUT CREAM- NO THANKS) carbonated sodas are ok

1:00 - drink at least 8 oz of clear fluid (listed above)

2:00 - drink one 10 oz bottle of Magnesium Citrate (A/K/A lemon flavored drink of death)

3:00 - drink at least 8 oz of clear fluid (listed above)

4:00 - - drink at least 8 oz of clear fluid (listed above)

5:00 - have dinner - liquid listed above - FOR REAL - I had to drink my dinner at 5 p.m. drink my dinner at 5 p.m.... It is NOT an accident that I typed that twice

6:00 - drink at least 8 oz of clear fluid (listed above)

8:00 - take 4 (4), yes 4 Dulcolax tablets

and then at 7 a.m. Thursday. I got one word to bring back every single illness you may have had as a child "SUP-POS-I-TOR-Y" only now it's got to be self-inflicted.

That's all I'll say about my week. You can imagine how my Wednesday was. Follow that up with a Thursday that is like 100 times worse, involved a trip to the hospital and someone rubbing my head saying "You're doing great, hang in there, do you need anything, oh, don't cry" Use your imagination for here.

But that was that and that was done and I FINALLY got to eat and I feel much better. SFB (Shit For Brains or Stupid Fucking Bastard) got fired Wednesday, not like it's a huge surprise, it's what he does, he gets a job, he gets fired, only this time, add I get divorced. Moving on....I've had enough. He knows if he screwed up AGAIN, I'd be done. He said he'd leave quietly if he did it again. Hopefully he's gone this weekend. I love him but 2 years of this shit is enough. I - I'm not gonna get negative, mmkay?

So, I am looking forward to a quiet weekend alone, maybe I'll haul the bike out of the shed, pump up the tires and continue with a diet started by my doctor emptying my bowels for 2 days. Might as well get something out of it!

So, now that if anyone is reading, I have totally grossed you out, have a wonderful weekend. If I get a chance I'll check into my favs over the weekend. Have a Happy!

Time Change is the Least of my Worries

2006-04-03T11:56:00.000-05:00

Never mind the time change. We got major phone issues here, I'm talking strangle myself with the phone cord issues. I live in the 2nd largest city in Georgia, which is not far (100 miles) from Atlanta. I am now convinced that any day now, I'll wake up with a clear view to the Capital Building and all the high rises and I'll have to leave for work 2 hours early instead of 7 minutes. This is my greatest fear.

So, the trouble, you see, is that our town, while it is the biggest small town you'll ever encounter, is growing at a rate that requires changes to the telephone system by good ole' Ma Bell. We now have so many exchanges, that we have to incorporate a new area code for the city. THAT means that we now have to dial a 10 digit phone number when you call anywhere locally. With.Out.A.1.

This is fucking hard! I thought I'd breeze right through the change with no problem. I'd be the smart chic that remembered and everyone would be so proud to know me becuase I am so very very intelligent that minor issues like this don't affect me or my life at all. It is now lunch time. So far every telephone call I've made today has begun with the doo doo dooo, your call can not be completed as dialed bitch reminding me that I'm a fucking idiot!

And just in case that isn't enough, I have a doctor's appointment in zero. 1 and 1/2 hours and counting. The kind where you could end up leaving with another appointment for sedation and some old geezer exploring your nether-regions with a camera and alot (I hope) of KY jelly! So, you think your Monday SUCKS? Welcome to mine!

I'm thinking Vodka for Dinner with a side of Olive for the veggie. Gives new meaning to that song "I wanna be sedated..."

Loud Mouth Lucy

2006-03-31T12:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, I don't know if her name is Lucy or not, but her name is probably the ONLY thing this chic didn't shout to the guy doing her nails yesterday afternoon.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: LML - the dude doing your nails, he's Vietnamese, NOT DEAF! Now I'm all about learning the English language before you move here *see

First I'm Pissed

but you walked into his shop, KNOWING full well he speaks little English, yet the ENTIRE conversation you had with the guy was maintained at 100 decibels on your side. If you MUST talk to the man, at least try to do it without busting MY eardrums 10 feet away, much less his, right across from you. Mmk? K

NEXT: While the trip you have planned sounds exciting, no one in the nail shop (save your buddy Marg you keep bellowing to) really cares to hear about how it's gonna happen in 2 weeks and you'll be gone for 10 to 11 days. Oh and that your husband's grandmother has been sick so you're gonna go see her and visit with your mother in law and aunts and uncles of your husband and stuff. (twice - twice you told him that)

NEXT: Although I know you'd LOVE to think that you are the center of the universe to everyone who knows you, I'm pretty sure that the coach of your husbands softball team did not, in fact, know you needed to get your nails done and that is probably not the reason he cancelled the game. Pretty. sure.

NEXT: Marg's kids probably don't think you are the coolest friend their Mom has, no matter how many times you say it.

AND: The man doing your nails is from another country with a different culture and I would guess little concern with telling you when he got here, how long he's been here and how he likes the States. Nor does he care for your opinion of Atlanta or any other place he's been that you have also been, since he got here.

All in all, I can honestly say that no one else in the salon cared about any of this information that you so rudely shared with everyone in your obnoxious tone the ENTIRE time you were there. I left before you but I would venture to say that there was a nice loud round of applause upon your leaving. I know if I were there, I would have joined in with a whistle and a loud YYYYEEEEE HAAAWWWWW!

I hope you have a nice day! I'm sure we'll hear ALL about it next time.

Cool things about being a grown up

2006-03-30T08:36:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm fixin' to be 35! (Yes I said fixin', I'm from the South you know, it's how we talk). There was this commercial once that I haven't seen in awhile, the guy buys a house, turns on all the lights, opens all the doors and cranks up the a/c. He then calls his dad and says (while standing on the porch with the door wide open) "Hey Dad, I just thought I'd call and tell you I'm lighting and cooling the WHOLE neighborhood!" Classic. Just what we all wanted to do when we got our first house isn't it?

So I was thinking last night about the cool things about being an adult. Decided to list some of mine here:

If I want orange koolaid, I can have orange koolaid, all I want no matter what time of day it is!
If I want pizza for breakfast, no problem, grab it out of the fridge and commence to eating.
If I want to stay up until 12 or 1 watching pointless shows on television (mostly adult-type cartoons ie; South Park, Family Guy, etc.) I can and no one can stop me.

Wanna lay around and watch porn instead of cutting the grass, make the husband do it and watch all the porn you want to hon

These are just a few, I'll be adding more throughout the day!
If I want beer at 10 a.m. on Saturday, I can have it!
If I want to walk around the house nude or semi nude, my choice!
If I want dessert before dinner, I can have some.
If I want to wear the same pants for 2 days in a row, I can.
Skip a bath on Saturday? Sure, go right ahead, add a 2nd layer of makeup and Secret and run on!
If I want to wear white shoes before Labor Day, I can.
If I want to sleep until noon - no one can tell me no!
If I want to take out the trash once a month, I got no bitchin' (of course I got WAAAAYYY bad smells, I'm just sayin'. I don't have to if I don't want to!

Dabbling

2006-03-28T13:09:00.001-05:00

Don't you just LOVE Sunflowers? Sunflowers make me happy. Sunflowers remind me that spring is here. Sunflowers make me think of salt and Coca Cola. Cause when you eat Sunflowers, you must have Coca Cola. Sunflowers are pretty. Sunflowers are on my blog!!!! Yippeee Wait, is that even a Sunflower? It's awful small to be a Sunflower, I think I was cheated on the Sunflower thingy. Hmmmmmm.

I have been dabbling in the world of changing my blog! I have absolutely NOOOOOO HTML intelligence so I'm borrowing from others. I have found there to be quite a bit of interesting sites out there with templates that folks don't mind sharing. Very appreciative, I am.

So, here's the link for the folks that let me borrow their template #10!

Cool Template Folks

- enjoy - I know I did!!!!

I know it's childish but....he he he

2006-03-23T15:59:00.000-05:00